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BOOK OF MORMON
“The gateway for finding meaning in life is to follow the example of the Savior. His was an attitude of unyielding obedience to the will of the Father and enduring love for all of mankind. How can we share with our listeners this same kind of redeeming truth? How can we encourage them to cultivate a life-changing attitude of hope and faith, with a commitment to follow in the pathway of the gospel of Jesus Christ?”
The Book of Mormon is the word of God. The Prophet Joseph said, “I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book” (Joseph Smith, History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 7 vols. [Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1932–1951], 4:461). It contains the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ and stands as another witness that Jesus is the Christ. Throughout the Book of Mormon we are privileged to view panoramically the great blessings and tender mercies the Lord has shown to His children here upon the earth, and especially on the American continent. When one comes to know the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, one will know that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith was indeed a prophet of God, and that this is the “only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth” (D&C 1:30), once again established here in the latter days (see the title page of the Book of Mormon).
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Isaiah 29:4. And thou shalt be brought down, and shalt speak out of the ground, and thy speech shall be low out of the dust, and thy voice shall be, as of one that hath a familiar spirit, out of the ground, and thy speech shall whisper out of the dust.
Isaiah saw our day. The Book of Mormon would come forth and would bring again the gospel of Jesus Christ (see D&C 20:9). It would spring forth out of the earth bringing us truth (see Ps. 85:11). We should cleave to this record because it not only contains the gospel message, but the plain and precious things that are still there in their purity (see 1 Ne. 13:29).
Ezekiel 37:19. Say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will take the stick of Joseph, which is in the hand of Ephraim, and the tribes of Israel his fellows, and will put them with him, even with the stick of Judah, and make them one stick, and they shall be one in mine hand.
The Bible is the stick of Judah and the Book of Mormon is the stick of Joseph. Ezekiel saw our day and knew of the coming forth of the Book of Mormon. The rendering of this scripture is even clearer in 2 Nephi 3:12.
John 10:16. And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.
The Lord referred to the Nephite colony as His other sheep (see 3 Ne. 15:21). The Bible makes reference to this other people or their record (see John 10:14–16). The angel Moroni is referred to as bringing the gospel to preach to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people (see Rev. 14:6).
Doctrine and Covenants 20:8–9. And gave him power from on high, by the means which were before prepared, to translate the Book of Mormon; Which contains a record of a fallen people, and the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles and to the Jews also.
The Book of Mormon contains the fulness of the gospel. The Prophet Joseph was given power from on high to translate it. The gospel is the foundation of the Church. The beginning of the Restoration began with the Prophet Joseph as he saw God the Father and the Savior Jesus Christ. It then continued with the bringing forth of the word of God that truth might again be established here upon the earth, and with the bestowal of keys and powers needed to administer the ordinances of the gospel.
Doctrine and Covenants 84:57. And they shall remain under this condemnation until they repent and remember the new covenant, even the Book of Mormon and the former commandments which I have given them, not only to say, but to do according to that which I have written.
As members of the Church, we are blessed with the gift of the Book of Mormon. The Lord has warned us not to take this sacred book lightly. It is up to each Latter-day Saint to individually take this gift into his or her own life, lifting the Lord’s condemnation for taking it lightly.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Gordon B. Hinckley:
Without reservation I promise you that if you will prayerfully read the Book of Mormon, regardless of how many times you previously have read it, there will come into your hearts an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord. There will come a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to his commandments, and there will come a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God. (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 41)
Ezra Taft Benson:
The honest seeker after truth can gain the testimony that Jesus is the Christ as he prayerfully ponders the inspired words of the Book of Mormon. Over one-half of all the verses in the Book of Mormon refer to our Lord. Some form of Christ’s name is mentioned more frequently per verse in the Book of Mormon than even in the New Testament. He is given over one hundred different names in the Book of Mormon. Those names have a particular significance in describing His divine nature. . . .
The Book of Mormon must be re-enthroned in the minds and hearts of our people. We must honor it by reading it, by studying it, by taking its precepts into our lives and transforming them into lives required of the true followers of Christ. President Joseph Fielding Smith said: “It seems to me that any member of this Church would never be satisfied until he or she had read the Book of Mormon time and time again, and thoroughly considered it so that he or she could bear witness that it is in very deed a record with the inspiration of the Almighty upon it, and that its history is true. . . . No member of this Church can stand approved in the presence of God who has not seriously and carefully read the Book of Mormon.” . . .
I have a conviction: The more we teach and preach from the Book of Mormon, the more we shall please the Lord and the greater will be our power of speaking. By so doing, we shall greatly increase our converts, both within the Church and among those we proselyte. The Lord expects us to use this book, and we remain under His condemnation if we do not (see D&C 84:57). (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 56, 57, 58)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Some ideas for making the Book of Mormon a powerful influence in your life include:
1. Follow the compass points given by the Book of Mormon itself—Moroni’s title page to the Book of Mormon makes clear the four-fold purpose of the volume: “Which is to show unto the remnant of the House of Israel what great things the Lord hath done for their fathers; and that they may know the covenants of the Lord, that they are not cast off forever—And also to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations.” As Moroni consigned the plates to the earth until the time of the Restoration and looked back over the centuries covered by this sacred volume, he encapsulated the essence of the work in terms of (1) great stories of God’s blessings from the past, (2) great covenants for the present, (3) great hope for the future (through the Atonement we are not “cast off forever”)—all built upon the (4) foundation of Jesus Christ. This pattern is a prism for viewing the Book of Mormon.
● Stories of God’s blessings—The Book of Mormon is a storybook of unsurpassed grandeur and inspiration. Watch for the greatness of God and His mercy and kindness toward His children. Throughout the Book of Mormon there are many examples of how the Lord provided for His children—from deliverance from the Egyptians, to obtaining the plates of Laban, to building the ship and protecting the emigrants at sea, to delivering them from their enemies in times of war and captivity. In all things they received strength and blessings from the Lord. This is one of the main purposes in the Book of Mormon (see Title Page).
● See your own covenants in the mirror of holy writ—By studying the pages of the Book of Mormon, which chronicle the history of a remnant of God’s covenant people, you can see reflected with clarity your own opportunities and destiny as you strive to fulfill the promises you have made to your Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ.
● Cultivate hope—The Book of Mormon is a handbook of hope. Become aware of the benefits of reading it regularly. Focus on how you feel when you study it thoughtfully, prayerfully, and gratefully—new energy, harmony, peace, faith, hope.
● Recognize and appreciate the central doctrine taught that will bless your life: Jesus is the Christ—Knowing that Jesus is the living Christ is absolutely essential for our salvation and exaltation. In the Book of Mormon there are hundreds of references to the Savior (over 1300, an average of one every 1.7 verses). In 1982 the words, “Another Testament of Jesus Christ” were placed just below the title. Through this book that continually testifies of Christ, we come to know Him and His role as our Savior.
2. Likening the scriptures to our lives. A standard feature in every topic of this book is to see what the Lord has said in His scriptures and then use that truth by applying it to our lives. This is how Nephi taught (see 1 Ne. 19:23). See also Scriptures in the present volume, which discusses how to apply the standard works to our lives. Here are just a few examples of what you can do to make the Book of Mormon a familiar and helpful influence.
● Consistent daily study—You can read the Book of Mormon every nine months by reading three pages a day, or every four-and-a-half months by reading six pages a day, and so on. The key is to search daily from the pages of the Book of Mormon. As vitamins taken daily are for the body, so likewise is the word of God for the spirit: You need a daily dose. Reading it just to get through it is like eating a feast without savoring the food—it just shouldn’t be done in that hasty way. Ponder the word carefully, seeking to understand, applying it to your life, and sharing it with your family and associates.
● Adopt a hero—Think of the principal figures from the Book of Mormon, the paragons of spiritual strength who traverse the pages of this book from God, as your heroes. Adopt their examples for your life. Nephi’s courage and obedience, Alma’s resiliency and penitence, Abinadi’s singular commitment, General Moroni’s leadership, the faith of the Brother of Jared—any or all of the figures such as these can become an internalized friend and companion whose sterling qualities you can strive to emulate.
● Make it part of your environment—Frame your favorite scripture from the Book of Mormon and put it out on display as a memory device. Decorate your home or workplace with reminders of the message and witness of the Book of Mormon. Posters, quotes, personalized memorabilia—all of these can help remind you of the blessings of God.
3. Share your witness of the Book of Mormon with others.
● Bear testimony—Bear witness of the truth of the Book of Mormon often, and your testimony of it will continue to grow.
● Spread the word—Send copies of the Book of Mormon to colleagues and friends who are open to the message of the Restoration. Often a personalized, inscribed testimony is an effective way to introduce the book to others.
● Personalize your witness—If you feel inspired to do so, seek ways to express your love for, and testimony of, the Book of Mormon through creative means: entries in your personal journal, writing stories from your own life reflecting truths from the Book of Mormon, and/or creative expression through art, music, sculpture, dance, etc.
4. Remember that to study the Book of Mormon is both a commandment and a blessing.
● We cannot take lightly the Book of Mormon—The Prophet Joseph and later President Ezra Taft Benson reminded us that Zion stands under condemnation because we have treated lightly the things that we have received, especially the Book of Mormon. “The Lord expects us to use this book, and we remain under His condemnation if we do not (see D&C 84:57)” (Ezra Taft Benson, The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 58).
● We live by every word that proceedeth from the mouth of God—This is clearly taught in Doctrine and Covenants 84:43–48. The word of God in the Book of Mormon is plain to our understanding (see 1 Ne. 13:40; 2 Ne. 31:2–3). The word will help us change more than any other thing (see Alma 31:5). The word, when we hold to it with all of our being, will lead us through temptation (see 1 Ne. 15:24; Hel. 3:29). The word will be our compass (see Alma 37:37–47). If we nurture the word with faith, diligence, and patience, we can enjoy the love of God and the blessings of eternal life (see Alma 32:40–43).
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
The following testimony of the Book of Mormon’s influence was given by Abigail Leonard, one of the early converts to the gospel in this dispensation, at the age of eighty-two:
In 1829 Eleazer Miller came to my house, for the purpose of holding up to us the light of the gospel, and to teach us the necessity of a change of heart. He did not teach creedism, for he did not believe therein. That night was a sleepless one to me, for all night long I saw before me our Saviour nailed to the cross. I had not yet received remission of my sins, and, in consequence thereof, was much distressed. These feelings continued for several days, till one day, while walking alone in the street, I received the light of the spirit.
Not long after this, several associated Methodists stopped at our house, and in the morning, while I was preparing breakfast, they were conversing upon the subject of church matters, and the best places for church organization. From the jottings of their conversation, which I caught from time to time, I saw that they cared more for the fleece than the flock. The Bible lay on the table near by, and as I passed I occasionally read a few words until I was impressed with the question: “What is it that separates two Christians?”
For two or three weeks this question was constantly on my mind, and I read the Bible and prayed that this question might be answered to me.
One morning I took my Bible and went to the woods, when I fell upon my knees, and exclaimed: “Now, Lord, I pray for the answer of this question, and I shall never rise till you reveal to me what it is that separates two Christians.” Immediately a vision passed before my eyes, and the different sects passed one after another by me, and a voice called to me, saying: “These are built up for gain.” Then, beyond, I could see a great light, and a voice from above called out: “I shall raise up a people, whom I shall delight to own and bless.” I was then fully satisfied, and returned to the house.
Not long after this a meeting was held at our house, during which every one was invited to speak; and when opportunity presented, I arose and said: “Today I come out from all names, sects and parties, and take upon myself the name of Christ, resolved to wear it to the end of my days.”
For several days afterward, many people came from different denominations and endeavored to persuade me to join their respective churches. At length the associated Methodists sent their presiding elder to our house to preach, in the hope that I might be converted. While the elder was discoursing I beheld a vision in which I saw a great multitude of people in the distance, and over their heads hung a thick, dark cloud. Now and then one of the multitude would struggle, and rise up through the gloomy cloud; but the moment his head rose into the light above, the minister would strike him a blow, which would compel him to retire; and I said in my heart, “They will never serve me so.”
Not long after this, I heard of the “Book of Mormon,” and when a few of us were gathered at a neighbor’s we asked that we might have manifestations in proof of the truth and divine origin of this book, although we had not yet seen it. Our neighbor, a lady, was quite sick and in much distress. It was asked that she be healed, and immediately her pain ceased, and health was restored. Brother Bowen defiantly asked that he might be slain, and in an instant he was prostrated upon the floor. I requested that I might know of the truth of this book, by the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, and I immediately felt its presence. Then, when the Book of Mormon came, we were ready to receive it and its truths. The brethren gathered at our house to read it, and such days of rejoicing and thanksgiving I never saw before nor since. We were now ready for baptism, and on or about the 20th of August, 1831, were baptized. (as quoted in Edward W. Tullidge, The Women of Mormondom [New York: Tullidge & Crandall, 1877],160–63)
SUMMARY
The Book of Mormon is the key to our understanding the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is the word of God. It is the keystone of our religion, and we should make it our lifetime study. It will bless our lives and the lives of our children. Let us learn of God and His Beloved Son through this precious scripture given for our day to bring us the knowledge of eternal life.
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CHARACTER
“How can we best teach others about the gospel of Jesus Christ? Is it not by striving more earnestly to become more like Him and thus radiate His light for others? The resurrected Lord said, “What manner of men [and, by extension, women] ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27). What steps can we take to build our own character in the spirit of obedience and thus become more effective teachers of the gospel?”
“Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny.” This profound statement by George D. Boardman truly puts into perspective the process of building character. It is a process that takes time and effort. It takes a value system based on the gospel of Jesus Christ. It takes self-discipline and integrity. Surely it takes all that one possesses to become a man or woman of Christ. The Savior stated with utter clarity the commission for our existence: “Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect” (3 Ne. 12:48). He then later restated the commandment with similar unequivocal clarity: “What manner of men [and, by extension, woman] ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Ne. 27:27). Such is the divine directive to build character and answer the call to honor and fulfill our destiny.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
A of F 1:13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
This is our “character” Article of Faith. The Lord expects us to strive for the stated qualities. These qualities, along with those necessary to obtain and practice charity, are the basis for having a Christlike character.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Ezra Taft Benson:
Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are to emulate the character of the Savior.
And what is His character?
He has identified the cardinal virtues of His divine character in a revelation to all priesthood holders who serve in His ministry. In this revelation, which was given a year before the Church was organized, He said, “Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.” (Doctrine and Covenants 4:6.) These are the virtues we are to emulate. This is the Christlike character. (Come unto Christ [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1983], 48)
David O. McKay:
And what is the crowning glory of man in this earth so far as his individual achievement is concerned? It is character—character developed through obedience to the laws of life as revealed through the gospel of Jesus Christ, who came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Man’s chief concern in life should not be the acquiring of gold nor fame nor material possessions. It should not be the development of physical prowess nor of intellectual strength, but his aim, the highest in life, should be the development of a Christlike character. (Man May Know for Himself: Teachings of President David O. McKay, comp. Clare Middlemiss [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1967], 29)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are four remedies to help you build character:
1. Anchor your life to the Lord Jesus Christ.
● Commit to gospel standards—Character is grounded in unchanging doctrines and principles, rather than in the shifting winds of fad and whim. Therefore, commit to living by enduring values and standards.
● Stick with your principles—Self-esteem and self-respect increase as you exercise self-control in accordance with your values and standards. This, in turn, will increase your desire to be a person of character. Be true to yourself and to God.
● Learn from example—Study the life of the Savior and other men and women of unquestioned character. Here are some of the qualities to look for: C—courage in the face of adversity; H—honesty in the midst of moral relativism; A—alignment with unchanging principles; R—respect for the rights of every person; A—admitting (and correcting) mistakes when you make them; C—courtesy in the presence of antagonism and arrogance; T—trust in a world of deceit; E—empathy for the disadvantaged; R—resilience in the wake of disappointment.
● Christ’s Divine Nature—Increase in your faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, and diligence (see D&C 4:6; 2 Pet. 1:3–12). In charity we find the center of Christ’s character; it is the trait and quality that makes us like Him. Make this your priority and goal, to become even as He is.
2. Make wise decisions every day.
● Decide first to decide wisely—“Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece—by thought, choice, courage and determination” (John Luther).
● Make each moment count—Character is a result of attitudes, desires, and choices. Remember: You are what you are because of your decisions. Have the courage to make wise decisions.
● Stretch yourself—Set high goals and make plans to keep them. Check your progress on a regular basis.
● Build strong habits—It takes up to 21 days to create a habit that forms your character, but only one day to break it. Build positive, character-building habits.
3. Put the well-being of others high on your agenda.
● Build character through service—”Character is established not on the sands of selfishness, but on the rock-hard commitment to leave behind good seeds for the present and coming generations” (East Asian Philosophy)
4. Welcome adversity and challenge as mentors.
● Welcome challenge—Character is more readily illuminated in times of trial and adversity than in moments of calm and bounty.
● Welcome sacrifice—Character is grown in the seed bed of sacrifice and trial. Sacrifice is often required to maintain your character.
● Welcome difficulty—Do something difficult as a proactive way to strengthen your character.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
In the following account, notice how it is not so much the content of the evening this young man spent with President Benson’s family, but the quality of the family and home life that drew him to them. It was the character of their lives.
We Need More of That Spirit in Our Home
I was seated in my office in Salt Lake City when I received a telephone call from a man in New York, a multimillionaire and one of our great industrialists. He had a son in a camp just outside Salt Lake City who had been expecting to be shipped overseas, and then the war had ended and so the servicemen were crowded into that camp. This boy was discouraged and his father was worried about him, so he called and said, “Would you please call him on the telephone and see if you can cheer him up a bit.” I said, “Of course, I would be happy to.” And so I called him and said, “Wouldn’t you like to come into the office for a little visit?” He said, “I surely would.”
He was a bit delayed coming in and I was just ready to leave for home when he arrived. I said, “Wouldn’t you like to go out to the house with me and take pot luck with the family? My wife doesn’t know you are coming, but you will be welcome.” He said, “I can’t imagine anything I’d rather do tonight than that.” So he went with me and we had our dinner and we had our prayer. Then we gathered around the piano afterward and enjoyed ourselves in some singing. After we visited for a while, I drove him down to the bus. In a few days, I got a letter from his father. And you know, you would have thought I had saved the boy’s life! In the letter, the father quoted a letter from his son in which the son had said, “Father, I didn’t know there were any people in this world who lived like that.”
Yes, we take it all for granted. Here was a man worth millions of dollars, who could buy his son anything that dollars could buy and never miss the dollars, and yet this simple thing of prayer and devotion in the home had passed him by. We need to be more grateful. I think there is no true character without gratitude. It is one of the marks of a real strong character to have a feeling of thanksgiving and gratitude for blessings. We need more of that spirit in our homes, in our daily association, in the Church, every-where. It doesn’t cost anything, and it is so easy to cultivate. It is so easy also to be dissatisfied and to be envious of other people. (Ezra Taft Benson, God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1974], 201–202)
SUMMARY
Your character truly does make your destiny. The words of Helen Keller show the price one must pay to develop character. She said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” The Apostle John summarized the essence of our quest to acquire the divine character when he said, speaking of the lot of the valiant and obedient: “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (1 Jn. 3:2). May we all strive with every fiber of our beings to transcend the tests of mortality and rise to the challenge of becoming, in our inmost character and patterns of living, even as He is.
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CHARITY
“The essence of missionary service is charity—loving others just as the Savior loves us all. We can confirm for our listeners that “Charity never faileth” (1 Corinthians 13:8). What steps can we follow to ensure that our cup of charity is full—full to overflowing? How can we verify more each day that the blessings of charity enrich and edify our lives and the lives of all those we serve?”
Charity, the pure love of Christ, is the ultimate attribute of godliness. To have charity is to obtain the divine nature of Christ through faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, and godliness with all humility and diligence (see D&C 4:6). This pure love of Christ is total, complete, enduring, and characteristic of the divine Being. When one is possessed of this love, his or her desires are like unto our Savior’s—to bless and serve mankind.
Charity never fails. Christ did not fail His Father, nor did He fail us; His pure love motivated His great sacrifice—the eternal, infinite, vicarious Atonement. Through the Atonement of Christ, we can gradually acquire this unconditional, godly love.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Moroni 7:44. None is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.
When we are meek and lowly, we are able to receive the Spirit more readily. With the Spirit, we come to know and testify of Christ. When we truly know Him, we strive to be like Him, thus obtaining a love like His, or charity. Charity should be the goal for each of us as we seek to become like Him.
Moroni 7:45. And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
When we truly have charity, this verse describe us. One can sense the joy that comes with the acquisition and application of a charitable disposition.
Moroni 7:46. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail. . .
Charity never fails because it is the pure love of Christ, which is eternal. In the end, charity is the greatest of all the gifts of the Spirit. Ultimately, we will not need the gift of tongues; the need for the gift of healing will pass away with mortality. But all through the eternities, we will need the godlike attribute of charity.
Moroni 7:47–48. But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.
Why will it be well with us to have charity? Because by obtaining this love we become the sons and daughters of God we become like (see 1 John 3:2). Peter taught us that when we have charity we take upon ourselves the Lord’s divine nature, and that by pursuing this path of righteousness our calling and election will be made sure (2 Pet. 1:5–10). Through mighty prayer we seek this most precious gift if we are true followers of Christ.
1 Corinthians 13:2–3. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understanding all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have no charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity is not just what we say or do; it is not just how we treat others. It isn’t giving service because we’re supposed to; it’s doing good because of our love for God and our fellowmen. Charity is part of who we are. Our good works profit us nothing if we are not truly seeking to become like Christ and do as He would.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Ezra Taft Benson:
The final and crowning virtue of the divine character is charity, or the pure love of Christ (see Moroni 7:47). If we would truly seek to be more like our Savior and Master, learning to love as He loves should be our highest goal. Mormon called charity “the greatest of all” (Moroni 7:46). . . . Charity never seeks selfish gratification. The pure love of Christ seeks only the eternal growth and joy of others. . . . The Lord Jesus Christ liberated man from the world by the pure gospel of love. He demonstrated that man, through the love of God and through kindness and charity to His fellows, could achieve His highest potential. He lived the plain and sure doctrine of service, of doing good to all men—friends and enemies alike. (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 275)
Joseph Smith:
Until we have perfect love we are liable to fall; and when we have a testimony that our names are sealed in the Lamb’s book of life, we have perfect love, and then it is impossible for false Christs to deceive us. (Encyclopedia of Joseph Smith’s Teachings, ed. Larry E. Dahl and Donald Q. Cannon [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1997], 105)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Listed below are some ideas to help us be full of charity.
1. Start with ourselves.
● Ask for a blessing of charity—Let us pray with all the energy of our hearts to possess charity (see Moro. 7:48).
● Make a personal commitment for improvement—Make a plan to increase our faith, be more virtuous, etc., following the admonition in D&C 4:6 by continually incorporating in our lives the attributes of godliness.
● Make the Savior the Exemplar for charity—Remember the Savior in all things. Create a new motto for our attitude and behavior: “Do as Jesus would do.”
● See with the eyes of charity—Charity is truly a way of looking at things. We can start by counting our blessings. Our hearts will be softened, the desire to do good will increase, and we will want to help others. To become full of charity requires a change of heart toward oneself, others, and God.
● Be open to opportunities to help—Remember: There are people less fortunate than you, people who are in need of help now! There is ample opportunity to be of service. Assist in the Lord’s work with charity (see D&C 12:8).
● Follow the Spirit—Be sensitive to the Spirit and follow the promptings you receive in regard to your treatment of and attitude toward others.
2. Make your home the schoolhouse of charity.
● Teach charity—Teach children and loved ones by setting an example of the qualities of charity (see Moro. 7:45).
● Recognize even small acts of charity—Even the most humble contributions, when given in love, are acts of charity. Be aware of the small acts of kindness you can give others, as well as those you receive.
3. Do good for the right reasons.
● Charity never judges—We should help others unconditionally. Thinking that they have brought their unfortunate circumstances upon themselves is not our right or privilege. Why? Because we never have all the facts or the feelings and emotions of the situation. Thoughtful people know that circumstances could one day place them in a similar position to need charity; they do not judge.
● Act from love alone—By this we can know that our motivation is pure. We do good out of genuine concern for others, and we are readily willing to forgo recognition and credit for the good deed. Nothing is quite as noble as the anonymous charitable act. “Charity ever finds in the act reward, and needs no trumpet in the receiver” (Beaumont and Fletcher).
4. Have a plan for charitable giving.
● Develop your own formula for sharing—Look at your resources, your time, your talents, your goods, your money. Budget to give away a certain amount of all these for charitable purposes.
● Give away knowledge—Sometimes charity means helping others to learn how to help themselves, rather than giving them goods only. Goethe put it this way: “Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”
● Give of yourself—Sometimes the greatest gift is not just material offerings, but ourselves—our time, our counsel, our solace, our support, our acceptance, our encouragement, and our companionship.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
In the following, Richard J. Allen tells of an elderly member of the Church who, while in the hospital with a serious illness, valiantly attempted to contact his home teaching families. Brother Allen then relates scriptures that reinforce the fact that our charity towards others is a sign of true conversion.
Charity—A Sure Sign of Conversion
He was in his senior years, having devoted all his days to service and building up the kingdom of God on earth. Now the toll of mortality was showing up more and more frequently in his life in the form of recurring infirmities and chronic discomforts. This time pneumonia had set in, together with a worrisome blood infection. As I greeted this venerable high priest that day in the hospital, my expectation was to hear of the vexations that come with advancing years. But he would have none of that. His number one worry—despite the manifest dangers of his condition—was not his own health, but rather his home teaching. Prior to his hospitalization, he and his companion had completed two of the three family visits assigned to them. One family remained. The good brother had made repeated calls from the hospital to try to arrange for backup assistance, but he had not been able to connect. When I asked about the remaining family, he mentioned an elderly widow who lived alone. “Oh,” I said, “it turns out that, by coincidence, we of the high priests group leadership visited her just three days ago and left a spiritual message. Consider the visit done!” Coincidence indeed! Immediately his eyes brightened up and a look of peace came into his countenance. What a potent medicine is the divine elixir of charity in the heart of good people such as this older brother.
When Enos spent a day and a night in fervent prayer for a blessing of peace and forgiveness, the Lord favored him with the comforts of the Spirit. His conversion immediately invoked in him a feeling of selflessness in the form of an overwhelming desire for the welfare of his brethren. “And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith” (Enos 1:12). It is that kind of faith that opens the doorway to charity. Mormon made this point very clearly in his famous sermon preserved by the hand of his son, Moroni: “But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him” (Moro. 7:47). It was this kind of charity that my good friend was displaying that day in the hospital. What better sign of conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ could there ever be than a charitable and loving disposition transcending one’s own needs?
—Richard J. Allen
SUMMARY
Christ’s love for us endures forever. When we are possessed of it, it endures in our lives. Do we desire charity? Do we want to possess this love? Can we see the benefits and the blessings of love exercised in our lives? Let us with all the energy of our hearts, with all our souls, with all our minds, and in all of our decisions seek to be full of charity. Life will be beautiful and we will find peace as only the Lord can give. “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Cor. 13:13).
♦
CHASTENING
“All of those who spread the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ to others understand very well the principle of chastening, for we have all been chastened by the Lord in His loving and caring way. Chastening from heaven leads to repentance, and repentance opens up our hearts to the saving light of truth. How can we help others understand that the challenges and tribulations we sometimes encounter in life serve as reminders that the Lord stands strong to help us rise up boldly in fulfilling our destiny as sons and daughters of God?”
The purpose of chastening is to help people reform, repent, and purify their lives. Righteous chastening is always based on love for the individual. The Lord chastens us because He loves us. He wants to help us stay on the straight and narrow path. He even helps us feel guilt to encourage us to repent. Sometimes He uses external means such as famine, pestilence, and many other hardships (see Hel. 11:4–18) to bring us to a state of humility so that we can be taught and persuaded to change our ways. Through chastening we can grow—provided we are easily entreated and don’t consider the chastening as punishment, but rather as a “course correction” to keep us on the right course. Chastening from a priesthood leader or parent should always be motivated by a desire to help us repent from sin so that we can enjoy the blessings of the Spirit and ultimately return to the presence of our Heavenly Father.
When we need to chasten in performing our role or stewardship in life, we must follow the counsel given in Doctrine and Covenants 121:41–44: reproving (correcting) betimes (early on, without delay) with sharpness (with clarity) when inspired by the Holy Ghost. Let us then always remember to follow up with compassion and love, so that the individual will not take us for an enemy. When receiving chastening, we should be as contrite, humble, and easily entreated as possible.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Doctrine and Covenants 95:1–2. Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you whom I love, and whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance in all things out of temptation, and I have loved you—Wherefore, ye must needs be chastened and stand rebuked before my face.
The Lord loves us. We need to realize that in chastening us, He demonstrates that love and provides for us the opportunity to repent. We should learn to be grateful that those who love us care enough that they will practice the most difficult form of love—chastening.
Doctrine and Covenants 1:27. And inasmuch as they sinned they might be chastened, that they might repent.
Everyone who sins must come to realize the need to repent. Chastening can come in many forms to help us repent: godly guilt and sorrow, disciplinary councils, leaders exercising stewardship responsibilities concerning our behavior, external chastisement by physical means (earthly conditions) to bring us to a state in which we are willing to repent, visitations from heavenly beings (see Ether 2:14), and any other means the Lord sees fit to use in helping His children come back to Him.
Helaman 12:2–3. Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity. And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him.
Let us always be careful to remember the goodness of God. When we forget God and His goodness, we set Him at naught and hearken not to His counsels (see 1 Ne. 19:7). At such times He will chastise us so that we will remember and repent.
Hebrews 12:5–11. And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? . . . Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
As we learn from this scripture, chastening is difficult to receive. However, we know that we receive it only because Heavenly Father loves us, and any loving father would so care for and caution an errant child. Let us be patient and look forward to the fruit of righteousness as our reward for giving or receiving chastening.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Harold B. Lee:
It’s an interesting thing that sometimes it takes calamity to drive us together. It’s a terrifying thing to think that that’s necessary, but the Lord said through one of His prophets that sometimes we have to have the chastening hand of the Almighty before we will wake up and humble ourselves to do the thing that He has asked us to do (see Helaman 12:3–6). In talking about the conditions that would come, He warned the people that death and destruction and all sorts of difficulties would have to come before people would listen, before they would obey, and He removes His hand and lets these things occur, or our people would not repent and come unto the Lord. (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1996], 191)
Brigham Young:
We as a people, will be chastened until we can wholly submit ourselves to the Lord and be Saints indeed. (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1954], 226)
Neal A. Maxwell:
Sometimes our chastening comes to us compressed in a difficult “little season” (D&C 103:4). Whatever the case, if we cannot endure chastening we do not yet qualify as true disciples: “My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory that I have for them, even the glory of Zion; and he that will not bear chastisement is not worthy of my kingdom” (D&C 136: 31). (Not My Will, But Thine [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 64)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are some things to consider when we are called upon to either give or receive chastening:
1. Chastening others.
● Follow the Spirit—Chastening must always be directed by the Spirit and practiced with love.
● Consider your stewardship—You must first have the right as well as the responsibility, or the authority to chastise.
● Listen—First make sure you have the facts; ask questions and invite discussion.
● Use the word of God—Let the Lord speak to the situation through His scriptures and the pronouncements of His prophets.
● Act only when the strategy is complete (ending with the spirit of healing)—Never chastise if you don’t have enough of the “balm of Gilead” to heal the wound with love.
● Be discreet—Chastening should always be in private.
● Never in anger—Use a soft voice with no wrath or anger
2. Receiving chastening.
● Perceive the love behind the action—Recognize that the one chastening loves you and is trying to help you.
● Practice patience—When you feel wrongfully accused, pray for the one doing the chastening. Be patient. Remember that time and more information can right the wrong.
● Eschew vengeance—Never seek retaliation. Leave justice to the Lord (see Rom. 12:19).
● Be softhearted—Be easily entreated.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
From the example of the saints in the early days of the restoration, we learn that we must endure chastening with humility in order to receive the Lord’s crowning blessings.
Chastened Even as Abraham
Amid relentless persecution and painful dislocation in Missouri, the Saints in Kirtland received on December 16, 1833, a remarkable revelation from the Lord through the Prophet Joseph Smith, telling them, “they must needs be chastened and tried, even as Abraham, who was commanded to offer up his only son. For all those who will not endure chastening, but deny me, cannot be sanctified” (D&C 101:4–5). The Lord gives them a grand promise that He will remember them, comfort them, gather them, and give them a crown. “Be still,” He counsels them, “and know that I am God” (v. 16). Thus in an hour of great affliction, the Lord gives the Saints a loftier view of things, shows them that He is in charge of the flow of events, and reinforces the age-old pattern of righteousness: that all should repent, depend on Him, and humbly submit to divine chastening as a gateway to spiritual growth and ultimate victory. (See HC, 1:458–64.) Against the background of this panorama of chastening and correcting so characteristic of the Restoration period, let us all learn to accept the chastening of the Lord in humility: “And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life” (D&C 101:38).
—Richard J. Allen
* * *
A personal story from the life of author Richard J. Allen shows us how our chastening of our children must be based on understanding and compassion.
The Wooden Splinter
In a special location at home I keep handy a small reminder of a big lesson I learned one time as a young father. It is a sharp wooden splinter about an inch-and-a-half in length that was retrieved from the tire of our family car many years ago at a time when one of our daughters was learning to drive. One day while she was driving that particular car, she rounded a corner and managed to bump up over the curb. Soon thereafter the tire went flat, which occasioned the need for a fatherly rescue. Making the not illogical assumption that the impact had caused the problem, I took the occasion to admonish her on being more careful. It was, I thought, the perfect teaching moment—and so it was, but for the father rather than the daughter. The repairman soon discovered the problem with the tire: it was not the bump but rather an imbedded wooden splinter that was at fault. I apologized to my daughter for the misplaced blame (she was always very forgiving) and resolved to be less judgmental in the future in carrying out my fatherly teaching duties. Recently I was counseling with my son on some family matters and retrieved the wooden splinter to relive for his benefit the lesson I had learned so many years ago. We enjoyed a good chuckle at my expense.
And so it is in life—as parents teach, they need to remember constantly that they, too, are imperfect and have need of continuing education and constant correction. When Alma exhorted his sons to live righteously, he did so in the context of his own grievous past. He taught repentance with authority, because he himself was an authority on repentance: “Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy” (Alma 36:21). What a powerful testimony of the effects of repentance and the application of the principles of the Atonement. The Savior reminded us: “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” (Matt. 7:3; see also Luke 6:41–42). Parents as teachers would do well to clothe truth in humility, doctrine in compassion, principles in charity, and chastening in love.
—Richard J. Allen
SUMMARY
Chastening is a bold and firm method of correction that sometimes needs to be practiced in order to bless lives. As leaders, and especially as parents, we may need to practice “tough love” from time to time in order that we not be guilty of permissiveness. Permissiveness often condones the inappropriate action or sin. “Tough love” is upholding truth and righteousness. It must be practiced with sensitivity and compassion, thus communicating our love for the individual. Remember that the preaching of the word of God is always the first thing we should do (see Alma 31:5) to help strengthen the people we love and serve. Let us never forget that chastening should always be handled and received with caution, care, and love—and only as directed by the Spirit.
♦
CHILDREN
“The Lord’s emissaries proclaim the importance of the divine commission of parents to raise their children within the eternal context. Through the law of eternal marriage, an essential part of the new and everlasting covenant (see D&C 131:1–4), raising children is coupled with the glory and honor of having an eternal family that will continue and grow forever. That is the divine objective for families—and the key message of the Lord’s missionaries to those who listen to them in humility and faith.”
Of all the tasks on earth, nothing is so difficult yet so rewarding as raising a child. Our joy truly is in our posterity. The trials seem almost overwhelming and the joys simply exhilarating. The question is, what can we do to help them grow without so many crises? What can we do to help prevent things that need not occur? What can we do to help them become truly converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ and have a desire to live it throughout their lives? What can we do to help them be prepared to share the gospel and keep the sacred covenants of the temple? What can we do to help them become mature young adults who are responsible and accountable? What can we do to help prepare them for marriage and their future family? As parents, raising children is the most important thing we will ever do. Our parental roles will go on through all eternity as we become worthy of exaltation.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Psalms 127:3. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Children are gifts from our Heavenly Father. We are responsible for the gifts and stewardship God has given us, for where much is given, much is required (see D&C 82:3).
Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Early teaching and training is imperative in raising a child. This proverb has with it a promise of lasting value. Make a plan to teach your children in their early years, giving them the foundation they need to make good choices and live and serve in the Lord’s kingdom.
Isaiah 54:13. And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.
The knowledge of the Lord brings peace to one’s soul. Your children find peace in righteousness as they live the doctrines and principles you teach them.
Matthew 18:6. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
Never hurt, belittle, abuse, or in any way offend a child. Children are pure and seek love and learning from their parents and other adults. This love and learning requires discipline, but never cruelty. If we fail in this stewardship, or if we lapse into abuse, the consequences are severe. On the other hand, the joy of success is boundless.
Mosiah 4:14–15. And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness. But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.
While a crucial part of parenting, fulfilling the responsibility of providing food, clothing, and shelter to our children isn’t enough. The major role of parents is to teach our children the principles of righteousness (see Moses 6:57–58).We have the responsibility to help keep our children on the straight and narrow path. We must also teach them to avoid contention, for contention is of the devil (see 3 Ne. 11:29). We will teach them to obey the commandments and to serve one another. Make a plan to teach by precept and example the gospel of Jesus Christ to your children.
Doctrine and Covenants 68:25–28. And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized. And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands. And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.
Let us, as parents, take seriously our teaching responsibility even as Jacob did (see Jacob 1:19). We teach the gospel so that our children will walk uprightly before the Lord and be obedient.
Doctrine and Covenants 93:39–40. And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers. But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth.
We should establish righteous traditions within our families: family prayer, family scripture time, family home evening, family council, family blessings and interviews, and family vacations that build family unity and combat the evil that would rule our families.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
The First Presidency and the council of the Twelve Apostles:
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, November 1995, 102)
Neal A. Maxwell:
If . . . we truly want the best for our sons and daughters, we would want for them—not status—but more meekness, mercy, love, patience, and submissiveness. (The Neal A. Maxwell Quote Book, ed. Cory H. Maxwell [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1997], 40)
Ezra Taft Benson:
Teach your children the gospel in your own home, at your own fireside. This is the most effective teaching that your children will ever receive. This is the Lord’s way of teaching. The Church cannot teach like you can. The school cannot. The day-care center cannot. But you can, and the Lord will sustain you. Your children will remember your teachings forever, and when they are old, they will not depart from them. (See Prov. 22:6.) (Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1990], 35–36)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Listed below are four key ideas you might use to help your children grow in the gospel:
1. Make your children the center of your life.
● They are your highest priority—They are more important than fame, professional acclaim, or fortune. As David O. McKay was fond of saying, “No success can compensate for failure in the home.”
● They deserve your time—Spend time with them, quality and quantity time. This will generate lasting memories and prove you truly care. “The best thing to spend on children is your time” (Arnold Glasow, in Richard L. Evans’ Quote Book [Salt Lake City: Publishers Press, 1971], 18).
● Always be there for them—They need your presence more than your presents. They need to know that you are their refuge and their support, their mentor and their friend, their source of encouragement and comfort—no matter what.
2. Make the home the center of life for your children.
● A place of safety—Make your home a refuge for them, a place of peace and security. Make the home the center of their lives, not just a passing “pit-stop.”
● A gathering place—Hold family home evening each week and schedule a time for special family activities.
● Welcome their friends—Allow their friends in; get to know the people your children like to be with. Make the home more inviting than any other place.
3. Make love the center of the home. Here are ten of the many faces of love:
● Love is constant—Show love often. Always show acceptance for your children.
● Love listens—Nothing will induce feelings of self-confidence and self-regard in a child more than a sense of really being listened to.
● Love is flexible—Each child is different. Parenting takes a customized approach for every child.
● Love looks for the good—Put the emphasis on catching them doing things right. Praise sincerely and frequently, always being specific about what is admirable.
● Love is specific—Take time to help them understand specifically what is expected of them regarding their attitudes and behaviors.
● Love is balanced—Balance children’s need for strong discipline with their need to learn to make responsible choices. “You cannot teach a child to take care of himself unless you let him try to take care of himself. He will make mistakes; and out of these mistakes will come his wisdom.” (Henry Ward Beecher)
● Love accepts the individual—Always separate behavior from the individual. You should accept your children, but not always everything they do. Avoid labeling them; instead, identify the behaviors they need to improve.
● Love takes the long view—Never chastise without enough of the “balm of love” to ensure your relationship will still be good (see D&C 121:41–44). There are dozens of ways to say “no” without causing ill feelings or lasting grudges.
● Love measures carefully—Give your children specific jobs to do and expect good performance. Help them to evaluate their progress. Have suitable rewards for reaching goals.
● Love is patient—Never forget that they are young and need time to become mature and responsible.
4. Teach your children.
● Teach correct principles—Teach your children the principles taught by the Lord. (Refer to all the scriptures at the beginning of this section.)
● Help them build values—Help your children establish a gospel value system to govern their behavior. Remember that agreed-upon values bring unity to the family.
● Worship together—Attend your church meetings together. Find regular ways for your family to show devotion and reverence for God and life. “If you can give your children a trust in God, they will have one sure way of meeting all the uncertainties of existence.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
President Joseph F. Smith is well known for his deep love for his children. The following is told by Charles W. Nibley:
Children: The Richest of All Earthly Joys
[President Joseph F. Smith’s] love for little children was unbounded. During [a trip] through the southern settlements of St. George . . . , when the troops of little children were paraded before him, it was beautiful to see how he adored these little ones. It was my duty to try and get the company started, to make time to the next settlement where the crowds would be waiting for us, but it was a difficult task to pull him away from the little children. He wanted to shake hands with and talk to every one of them. . . .
I have visited at his home when one of his children was down sick. I have seen him come home from his work at night tired, as he naturally would be, and yet he could walk the floor for hours with that little one in his arms, . . . loving it, encouraging it in every way with such tenderness and such a soul of pity and love.
He showed great tenderness and love for his large and honorable family. In his last address to his children, November 10, 1918, his heart’s dearest sentiments were expressed to them in these words: “When I look around me, and see my boys and my girls whom the Lord has given to me—and I have succeeded, with His help, to make them tolerably comfortable, and at least respectable in the world—I have reached the treasure of my life.” (as cited in Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith [Melchizedek Priesthood and Relief Society course of study, 1998], 295–96)
SUMMARY
The list of ways to raise children in wisdom and love could go on infinitely. Suggestions such as the “Ideas for Daily Living” listed earlier not only work, but are truly necessary for the well-being of all children. Let us do all that we can to see that our children have the opportunity to grow up with love and high standards. The eternal rewards are measureless. As the Apostle John stated: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 Jn. 1:4).
♦
CHOICES
“Missionary work proceeds and prospers through the far-reaching flow of wise choices. What steps can we follow each day to ensure that our choices are in keeping with the will of the Lord and lead to an abundant harvest of blessings for our family and all those we serve in building the kingdom? How can we help our listeners make the right choices and thus enjoy the peace and joy that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ?”
The oft-quoted statement “You are the result of your decisions” is true. There is a seemingly limitless range of choices. Even when freedoms are curtailed, we are still free to choose our mental, emotional, and spiritual response to situations we face. We make decisions and choices every day, and they have an effect on every aspect of our lives. Even choices or decisions not made become decisions by omission. Recognizing that many facets of our lives are dependent on our choices, it would be well for each of us to consider how to make wise choices.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
2 Nephi 2:27. Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
While we recognize the great freedom we have to choose our path in life, we must never forget the responsibility we have with this freedom. Our choices will either lead us to eternal life or away from God forever.
Doctrine and Covenants 9:7–9. Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong.
In all our decisions we have the responsibility to exercise reason and wisdom, and then ask for confirmation by the Spirit to determine whether our decision is correct. That confirmation will come as both a feeling (in our hearts) and as an insight (in our minds) in understanding what we are to do. The Spirit will tell us the truth of all things (see Moro. 10:5).
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Joseph B. Wirthlin:
[The Holy Ghost] is a revelator and teacher who conveys information to our spirits with far more certainty than is possible by our natural senses. He can guide us in every choice and decision and will never deceive or mislead us. He is a comforter who brings peace to our souls in times of need. (Finding Peace in Our Lives [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1995], 117)
M. Russell Ballard:
We know that God has promised incredible blessings to those who learn in this life to walk by faith and exercise the moral agency He has given us to make good decisions and choices (including, it should be noted, the choice we all have to believe this eternal plan or not to believe it). That should be enough. We don’t have to know all of the details of those promised blessings. We just have to have confidence in them. And faith in Him. (Our Search for Happiness: An Invitation to Understand The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1993], 80)
Gordon B. Hinckley:
I should like to suggest three standards by which to judge each of the decisions that determine the behavior patterns of your lives. These standards are so simple as to appear elementary, but I believe their faithful observance will provide a set of moral imperatives by which to govern without argument or equivocation each of our actions and which will bring unmatched rewards. They are:
1. Does it enrich the mind?
2. Does it discipline and strengthen the body
3. Does it nourish the spirit? . . .
This, my brethren and sisters, is our divine right—to choose. This is our divine obligation—to choose the right. God give us the strength, the courage, the faith in all our choices to choose that which will enrich the mind, strengthen and discipline the body, nourish the spirit, and thus give us growth and joy in this life and eternal life in the world to come. (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 54)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are four things to help you in your decision making.
1. Focus on that which is truly important.
● Ultimate objectives—What do you want to have happen in your life? What are your long-range goals? How will the decision that is before you advance these goals? The key to decision making is to understand first of all what you want the ultimate outcomes to be. Dwight D. Eisenhower declared: “The history of free man is never really written by chance but by choice—their choice.”
● Is it necessary?—Is the choice you are facing something you need to have happen, or just want to have happen? Let us become students of how to determine the difference between wants and needs. Let us choose this day things that matter most and then make wise decisions accordingly. The deciding moment is where we act on priorities according to the governing question: “What will bring me closer to my goals than anything else?”
● Does it compliment the principles you stand for?—Base your decisions on gospel principles. For example, if one of your guiding principles is honesty, then any decision you make has to be made in the spirit of honesty. If it’s not honest, then you don’t do it.
2. Timing is crucial.
● Don’t procrastinate key decisions—Many times we need to choose our actions before we are confronted with a situation. Hasty decisions made “in the moment” can lead to regret. Choose now to be honest, to follow the Word of Wisdom, to stay morally clean, etc.
● Act from strength—Make key decisions when you are in an “up” mood. Negativity will cloud your perception and inhibit the inspiration of the Spirit. Be positive as you make choices.
● Know that not deciding is deciding—Recognize that every day is composed of time. Time is to be used wisely; therefore, anytime we do nothing, it becomes our decision to use our time unwisely.
3. Use reason.
● Get the facts—Collect all pertinent information first, and make sure of its accuracy. Make decisions calmly, not in haste or under duress, but in a reasoned, judicious manner.
● Look at all the options—Study the pros and cons of a certain decision. Maximize the benefits in your choice. Then seek confirmation. George Eliot observed: “The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.”
4. Consider all the people involved.
● Weigh the consequences—Factor in how your decisions will affect others. Understand the implications for the lives of all parties, now and in the future. Make sure the decisions are in the best interests of your children and loved ones.
● Get input—Confer with your circle of loved ones and associates before making a big choice. Always look ahead to the effects or the results of the decision. Will it bless people?
● Avoid unilateral action—Be careful in unilateral decision making or autocratic leadership—it often becomes difficult afterwards to rally support. Counseling together gives unity and strength to the decision, with greater chance for success.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIMES
Author Ed J. Pinegar shares four stories that emphasize the importance of good choices in shaping our character.
Four Illustrations
At every turn in the road of life we are faced with choices. It’s not as simple as Yogi Berra quipped—”When you come to a fork in life, take it.” Sometimes we have to make the difficult choice of going in one direction or the other. I have always loved to collect stories because they are the best teaching tools. In my collection of stories under the category of choices, here are just a few thoughts to get your mind working:
1. In Greek mythology there is a boy named Icarus. Imprisoned on the isle of Crete, he and his father created a pair of wings made of feathers and wax. With this marvelous invention, Icarus could raise himself up into the sky like a bird. At last, they thought, here was a means to escape their confinement. The father warned his son not to fly too close to the sun, lest the wax melt. But the free-spirited boy became obsessed with his new-found freedom and flew too high. The wax melted in the heat, and the boy fell to his death. Freedom and control must go hand in hand, or else freedom can become a curse to the individual.
2. I remember a “Peanuts” cartoon that showed Linus standing there with a snowball in his hand as Lucy enters the picture. She takes stock of the situation and says to Linus: “Life is full of choices. You may choose, if you wish, to throw that snowball at me. You also may choose, if you wish, not to throw that snowball at me. Now if you choose to throw that snowball at me, I will pound you right into the ground! If you choose not to throw that snowball at me, your head will be spared.” Then Linus wisely throws away his snowball with the words, “Life is full of choices, but I never get any.” Yes, Linus, you do get choices, but they always have consequences.
3. Isaac Stern, the world-famous musician-violinist, was once interviewed by a media personality and asked at what point in his life he had ultimately committed his energies toward a career as a concert violinist. Mr. Stern contrasted the outcome of his first recital in San Francisco at a tender age with his first appearance in New York City. In the first instance the critics were effusively supportive of his promising career; in the second, the critics were unrestrained in their doubts. Greatly discouraged, the young artist boarded one of New York’s double-decker busses and proceeded to ride aimlessly for a good deal of the day, pondering his fate. Should he quit or go forward? Were the New York critics right or wrong? Finally he returned to his apartment and said to his mother with full conviction: “I am going to work, mother—work at my music until it works for me.” That choice resulted in Isaac Stern becoming one of the most acclaimed violinists in the world. Choice is a key part of character.
4. I remember reading about a sailor with standards. He chose to avoid the immoral antics of some of his shipmates whenever the ship was in port. One night, when he had chosen to retire alone in his bunk rather than party, he was awakened suddenly by the hand of one of his more belligerent shipmates. The huge man was drunk and was brandishing a hammer in a threatening manner. The sailor looked up from his bunk and realized that he could not escape, that his life was probably about to end. Then he discerned what the man was babbling at the top of his lungs: “Get your mask and fins. There is a man overboard, and you are the only one who can save him!” The sailor bounded out of bed and proceeded to accomplish the heroic deed that saved the life of one of the crew. He learned a powerful lesson in choice that night—for although his associates openly ridiculed him for his standards, they secretly admired his character and fortitude, and looked to him for leadership in a time of crisis.
From each of these lessons we learn the power of choice—not only to direct a course, but to mold a character.
—Ed J. Pinegar
SUMMARY
The Lord has given you the power to make good decisions. As He declared: “Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward” (D&C 58:27–28). There are examples from the past of many great people who, regardless of the situations facing them, took decisive and prudent action of their own free will and thus made a difference in their own lives and often in the lives of many others. The consequences of wise decisions—useful inventions, important discoveries, ways to transform poverty into prosperity, despair into hope, and spiritual degeneracy into gospel joy and gratitude—enrich our lives every day. Enjoy life now and forever by making proper and wise choices.