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HOME TEACHING
“In what ways does home teaching relate to missionary work? In many helpful ways! Home teachers perform a precious service by encouraging members to be active in sharing the gospel with others. They encourage young family members—as well as senior couples—to prepare for missions. They reach out in tenderness and care to the downhearted and the inactive and encourage them to come forward along the pathway of salvation. How can home teachers, visiting teachers, and all who participate in teaching gospel principles follow the example of the Savior in greater measure in order to help build the kingdom of God on earth?”
Home teaching is the Lord’s way of watching over His flock (see D&C 20:53–55, 59). It is a program organized through the priesthood that allows us, as disciples, to show charity and love (see John 13:34–35), to strengthen and help others (see D&C 81:5; 108:7), and to nurture the Saints (see Moro. 6:4). 
Home teachers serve the people they visit. They counsel with the head of the home to understand the family’s needs and concerns. They pray for strength and wisdom as they represent the Lord and Church leaders in this important assignment. Surely the home teacher, acting as an undershepherd of the Lord, is the first line of defense for the flock.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Psalms 142:4. I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.
There is nothing worse than feeling unloved and uncared for. We should be certain that the families in our stewardship feel that we love and care for them.
James 1:27. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
This is what the gospel is all about—caring for and uplifting one another, seeking each other’s welfare and salvation.
Doctrine and Covenants 20:53–55. The teacher’s duty is to watch over the church always, and be with and strengthen them; And see that there is no iniquity in the church, neither hardness with each other, neither lying, backbiting, nor evil speaking; And see that the church meet together often, and also see that all the members do their duty.
According to the Lord, it is our duty to ensure that the members who have been entrusted to our stewardship are watched over. They must be spiritually nurtured and fed by their home teachers, and, if necessary, physically nurtured and fed by their home teachers.
Doctrine and Covenants 20:59. They are, however, to warn, expound, exhort, and teach, and invite all to come unto Christ.
As home teachers, we are to teach our assigned families the word of God by the Spirit (see D&C 42:14; 50:17–23) and to strengthen them in all that we do (see D&C 108:7).
Doctrine and Covenants 81:5. Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.
We are called to lift and succor one another, even as the Savior lifts and succors us (see Alma 7:11–12).
Doctrine and Covenants 108:7. Therefore, strengthen your brethren [and sisters] in all your conversation, in all your prayers, in all your exhortations, and in all your doings.
When we build caring relationships with those we home teach, we are better able to strengthen them both temporally and spiritually.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Anthony W. Ivins:
It is my duty, as a shepherd of the flock of Christ, to warn them of the danger which threatens; and if I fail in my duty and the danger comes upon them and they perish, the Lord has said that he will require their blood at my hands, and at the hands of every other shepherd of the flock, who, knowing his duty fails to perform it. (Conference Report, October 1928, 18)
Ezra Taft Benson:
Shepherds—home teachers:
Are you watching over your families as you should?
Are you ministering to their needs?
Do you care enough about your families’ welfare that you find out their interests, that you remember birthdays and special events, and that you continually pray for them?
Are you the first one to the home when the family needs assistance?
Does the head of the household call on you first?
Are you attentive to the needs of each member of the family?
When one of your assigned families moves, do you know where they have moved? Do you make an effort to obtain their new address? Do you check with neighbors, friends, and relatives? (Come unto Christ [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1983], 64)
Gordon B. Hinckley:
You have a responsibility, an inescapable responsibility to go out into the homes of the people and teach them the gospel. See that there is no iniquity or backbiting or evil speaking, and build their faith. See that they are getting along temporally. It is a big responsibility. . . . We do not do as well with our home teaching as we ought to. We could do a great deal better than we do.
Home teaching isn’t a lot of work, it just takes a little faith.
I hope that home teachers and visiting teachers will experience two things: first, the challenge of the responsibility that is in their great calling, and second, the sweetness of results from their work, particularly with those among us who are less active. I hope that these teachers will get on their knees and pray for direction, and then go to work to bring these wandering prodigals back into the fold of the Church. If home and visiting teachers respond to this challenge, I honestly believe that they will taste the sweet and wonderful feeling which comes of being an instrument in the hands of the Lord in leading someone back into activity in His church and kingdom.
Our people need help. They have so many problems—social problems, domestic problems, marital problems—so much of it. We need to help. We need to get home teachers out more among them, to strengthen them, to listen to them, to lift them and encourage them and help them with their complicated lives. (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 263)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are four ideas that will help us to perform our home teaching duties more effectively:
1. Be a true shepherd as described in John 10:1–16.
● Watchman—Shepherds watch for enemies to the flock. Similarly, home teachers should remain vigilant for anything that could hurt the family.
● Protector—Shepherds protect the flock from the enemy. Do anything and everything that can protect and strengthen the family.
● Nurturer—Shepherds lead the flock to pasture and to water. Teach and nurture the family with love and with the word of God, and serve them with all your heart, might, mind, and strength.
● Friend—Shepherds know the names of their sheep and the sheep recognize the shepherd’s voice. Know the names of family members, their hopes and dreams, the things they enjoy, and their concerns.
● Trusted guide—The flock trusts the shepherd because he has demonstrated love for them and he cares for their welfare. As home teachers show their love and respect for family members, they will love and trust them.
● Devoted servant—Shepherds will give their lives to protect their flocks because they have unconditional, godlike love for their flocks. Faithful home teachers truly love and nurture those they have been assigned to teach.
2. Remember the doctrines, principles, and covenants that will inspire us and help us do our duty.
● Keep in mind the purposes and goodness of God—Remember that God’s goodness, mercy, and covenants are all centered in His children—their happiness, immortality, and eternal life (see Moses 1:39).
● Make charity the central strategy—Realize the power of love. As disciples we are to love one another (see John 13:34–35), and as undershepherds we are to feed His sheep, because we love Him and them (see John 21:15–17).
● Seek understanding—Seek to understand the doctrines and principles of the gospel. First, obtain the word (see D&C 11:21), then teach the word of God and testify as to its power, which in turn can and will change lives (see Alma 31:5).
● Be converted—Acknowledge the power of true conversion. Only when we are truly converted can we teach and lift others. When we are truly converted, we will have an overwhelming desire to bless and serve others (see Enos 1:9, 11, 16; Mosiah 28:3).
● Recognize the value of your assigned families—Understand the worth of souls (see D&C 18:10–16). We are responsible and accountable for the teaching and nurturing of our families (see Moro. 6:4). We are the agents for the bishop and the Lord. We are on the Lord’s errand, and must seek to help these souls to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father.
● Build them up—We must recognize the power of positive self-image. By giving genuine and honest praise, we can encourage those we teach to do good and keep the commandments.
● Apply faith—Our power to bless others in and through the strength of the Lord is dependent upon our increasing and exercising our own faith (see Moro. 7:33).
● Pray—We can pray regularly for the well-being of those you are blessed to serve (see 1 Ne. 1:5).
3. Ask ourselves these questions concerning our attitude and devotion as home teachers:
● Caring—Do we truly show that we care for our families? When you care about things they care about, they will know you care about them.
● God’s representatives—Do we recognize that we are on the errand of the Lord? As priesthood representatives we act with the authority of God—and to do what? To bless and nurture God’s children according to His will and pleasure. This is our honor, privilege, responsibility, and joy (see D&C 20:46–47, 51, 53–55).
● Actual needs—Do we seek to understand the needs of family members and attempt to fulfill them? We must seek to become men of a sound understanding so as to be better able to bless the people we serve (see Alma 17:2).
● Supplication—Do we really pray for the families we teach and their well-being? When we fast, do we fast and pray for our home teaching families? The prayers of the righteous are answered in behalf of others (see 2 Chron. 30:18; Enos 1:9, 11, 16; Mosiah 27:14; Alma 6:6; 10:23; 3 Ne. 12:44).
● Follow through—Do we look for specific ways to serve and then follow through with initiative, or do we use the old cliché, “Let me know if I can help in any way.” You can evaluate your very soul and determine things you need to do to be a good shepherd for those you teach. The Lord holds us accountable to learn our duty to fulfill our stewardships (see Jacob 1:19; D&C 72:3; 107:99–100). Let us be anxiously engaged, not casually involved (see D&C 58:27–28)
4. Seek to make home teaching an act of joy for ourselves and our assigned families.
● Be early—Call and make appointments early in the month. This shows caring.
● Note the milestones—Remember birthdays and special days in the lives of family members. Simple gestures and treats can have a wonderful effect.
● Recognize accomplishments—Find out about successes or honors that each family member has received and seek to praise and encourage each one so honored.
● Know their preferences—Learn of their favorite foods, hobbies, and things they like to do, and then surprise them with a simple gift of relevance.
● Follow the Spirit—Above all, invite the Spirit to direct you and in turn bless family members according to their needs.
● Use initiative—As home teachers, we don’t have to limit ourselves to only one formal visit a month. We can fellowship our assigned families in other ways, such as inviting them over for dinner, or planning a game night or outdoor activity together. Companionships may want to make a list of fun activities or ways to serve assigned families.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
In a general conference talk, John H. Vandenberg tells how a woman joined the Church because of the perseverance of her husband’s faithful home teachers.
A Letter on Home Teaching
So wrote one sister: She, having been born and raised in another church, states that she and her Mormon husband lived the first years of their marriage without any religious activity. One evening two pleasant fellows appeared at their door and introduced themselves as home teachers. With little encouragement, they kept coming, month after month. Then the husband began, for the first time, to read such church books as he had.
The sister said that when they moved to another town she packed the books away where she hoped her husband would never find them again. Sure enough, the couple again forgot about religion until other home teachers arrived at their new home.
After the first visit of these new teachers, her husband searched for his books until he found them. The sister states that the one teacher was so friendly that they couldn’t help liking him, and when he began inviting them to church affairs, they accepted because he seemed to really want them there, and they didn’t want to disappoint him.
“Finally,” said the sister, “after calling for many months, he asked if he could offer a prayer in our home, and we didn’t know how to refuse. So the first prayer ever offered in our home was by this home teacher.
“About this time our teenage son began to complain at being sent to my church while neither his father nor I was attending church ourselves. So we compromised by attending the Mormon Church and my church on alternate Sundays.
“Our home teachers had been calling on us for about two years when they asked if the missionaries might call. (We had had them in our former town, but I had refused to listen to them.) This time I agreed to hear the missionaries but failed to make any effort to listen or understand and refused to read any of the material that was given to me. After the fourth call, the missionaries handed me more pamphlets and suggested that I read fifty more pages in the Book of Mormon (I had read none of the book yet); then one of them said good-naturedly, ‘Now you can get further behind.’
“Suddenly I was ashamed of my attitude and determined to read the entire Book of Mormon before his next visit. I carried out this promise, and when the missionaries returned I told them I wanted to be baptized.” As a result of these efforts by the priesthood brethren, the family was unified and is now enjoying the true purpose of life in harmony with the principles and teachings of the gospel. (John H. Vandenberg, Conference Report, October 1970, 11.)
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The following details how the Savior’s visit to America in Third Nephi serves as a model for the visits we make as servants in the Church.
The Visit
We are a visiting church. Several years ago, it occurred to me that the Savior’s visit to America established the model and standard for home teachers, visiting teachers, priesthood and Relief Society leaders, missionaries, and families—all of whom use visits to strengthen the Church and enlarge the kingdom of God. As a result, I fashioned a little bookmark to remind all of us in the high priests group, in which I was serving as group leader, to raise the bar of excellence in our home teaching. The bookmark featured the following pattern practiced by the Savior in His extraordinary visit to the ancient American Saints (all references from Third Nephi):
The Savior bore testimony—“Behold, I am Jesus Christ the Son of God” (9:15).
The Savior taught only the fundamentals of the gospel—See 11:31–41; 17:20; 27:13–21; 15:1.
The Savior brought enduring gifts to the people—Peace, light, love, and life (17:21–25).
The Savior brought a life-changing influence—“Old things are done away, and all things have become new. Therefore, I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect” (12:47–48; 27:27).
The Savior taught us who we are—“The sons of God” (9:17); “the children of your Father who is in heaven” (12:45); “the children of the prophets . . . the children of the covenant” (20:25–26).
The Savior taught us how to gain a fulness of truth—“[G]o ye unto your homes. and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow” (17:3).
The Savior taught us how to participate in the ultimate fulfilling of the Father’s covenant with the house of Israel—“And then will I gather them in from the four quarters of the earth; and then will I fulfil the covenant which the Father hath made unto all the people of the house of Israel” (16:5).
The Savior taught us how to endure to the end—“Give heed unto the words of these twelve” (12:1); the sacrament (18:1–14); “watch and pray always” (18:15); “Pray in your families” (18: 21); “meet together oft” (18:22); “[H]old up your light that it may shine unto the world” (18:24); read the scriptures (23:1, 5; 23:8–14); and pay tithing (24:10).
No visit could be as perfect as the visit of the Savior to His Saints. But we can strive to follow His pattern and improve day by day.
—Richard J. Allen
SUMMARY
Home teaching can be a fulfilling and enjoyable experience as we catch the vision and importance of this sacred work to bless the lives of our brothers and sisters. Once the vision is clear in our minds and we seek to fulfill it, our desire will increase. We will prepare every needful thing in order to be good home teachers. We will be full of enthusiasm and we will make and keep our priesthood covenant to “watch over the church always, and be with and strengthen them” (D&C 20:53). We will honor our priesthood and be devoted servants of the Lord. We will be true undershepherds to our home teaching families.
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HONESTY
“Honesty is the essence of the gospel message, for it characterizes the noble work of the Lord’s missionaries—to present the truths of God’s plan of salvation in honest and direct terms that cannot be misunderstood. Honesty is also the core of integrity in those who are seeking the truth, for if they humbly recognize the good news of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and honestly accept the counsel of their teachers and go before the Lord with a willing heart, then they will learn through the Holy Ghost that the message is true. In what ways can we enhance the qualities of honesty within our hearts and minds and thus reach out with greater courage to speak the truths of the gospel to others who are waiting to receive the honest and sacred word of God as a sacred blessing for their lives?”
Defined as “fairness and straightforwardness of conduct” (Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary), honesty is the expression of one’s true character. It “implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way” (ibid.), and is the core of integrity. This character trait is of utmost importance in our relationships. When based on honesty and truthfulness, communication can be trusted. Thus in the family, school, and workplace—in all of life—honesty becomes a principle that governs, the principle of trust. This is why we must be honest with ourselves and with our God. With trust, all relationships can be built and maintained.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Exodus 20:16. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
The Lord commands us to be honest in our dealings. This is reiterated in the temple recommend interview. If we are not honest with our fellowmen and with the Lord, we are not worthy to enter His house.
2 Nephi 9:34. Wo unto the liar, for he shall be thrust down to hell.
No unclean thing can enter into the presence of the Lord. Therefore, no dishonest person, without full repentance, can achieve exaltation.
Alma 27:27. For they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end.
The converted Ammonites followed the teachings of Christ without compromise. They were in all respects upright and honest. True conversion brings with it personal righteousness, of which honesty is an integral part.
Doctrine and Covenants 51:9. And let every man deal honestly, and be alike among this people, and receive alike, that ye may be one, even as I have commanded you.
Honesty is a crucial to being united and to building Zion. Zion cannot be built without trust. Honesty is the principle on which trust, and unity are built.
Doctrine and Covenants 98:10. Wherefore, honest men and wise men should be sought for diligently, and good men and wise men ye should observe to uphold; otherwise whatsoever is less than these cometh of evil.
When selecting those who will govern us, we should consider character above all else. If integrity is compromised then trust is destroyed. This is of primary concern for us not only in electing government officials, as this scripture indicates, but in all our dealings. We should seek to associate with those who are honest, and strive to be honest ourselves.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Joseph F. Smith :
And above all things one must be honest and sincere in the performance of his religious duties. On these lines we are dealing with our conscience and with our God, but in every phase of life strict honesty is the “best policy.” (From Prophet to Son: Advice of Joseph F. Smith to His Missionary Sons, comp. Hyrum M. Smith III and Scott G. Kenney [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1981], 108–109)
Gordon B. Hinckley:
Be strong . . . with the strength of simple honesty. How easy it is to “lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor” (2 Ne. 28:8). Nephi so describes the people of his day, as he also describes so many of our day. How easy it is for us to say, “We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent” (A of F 1:13). But how difficult for so many to resist the temptation to lie a little, cheat a little, steal a little, bear false witness in speaking gossipy words about others. Rise above it, brethren. Be strong in the simple virtue of honesty.
Simple honesty is so remarkable a quality. It is of the very essence of integrity. It demands that we be straightforward, unequivocal, in walking the straight and narrow line of what is right and true. It is so easy to cheat. At times it is so enticing to do so. Better a poor grade than a dishonest act. (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 269)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are four ideas to help us be honest:
1. Honesty is the foundation upon which you can build your future.
● Honesty is the first principle—A person should build his or her life upon principle, and the place to start is honesty. A life built on dishonesty will crumble in due time. A life built upon honesty will have endurance, resilience, and vitality. (See also A of F 1:13.)
● Honesty is a personal decision—If you decide to build your character, relationships, and life’s vision on the principle of honesty, then you have just spared yourself the task of making ten thousand and more future decisions—for you only need to decide once to be honest (see Job 27:5; Mal. 2:6).
2. Honesty has consequences that are highly desirable.
● Think results—In all of your decisions, weigh the consequences. Always look forward with gratitude to the positive consequences of being honest. Always remember that dishonesty bears no good fruit (see 2 Ne. 9:34).
● Honesty generates trust—To be trusted requires total honesty. You cannot expect honesty in others if you’re not totally honest yourself. If you lack honesty, you’ll also be unable to trust others, because you will question their honesty. That is not a circle of consequences to be desired (see Alma 27:27; D&C 51:9).
● Honesty is a creative force—Honesty builds friendship and unity. Dishonesty tears down. The results of dishonesty can destroy personal friendships, families, and even society itself. All of your relationships depend upon your honesty (see Eph. 4:25).
● Honesty brings peace—Total honesty allows your conscience to be at peace (see 1 Tim. 2:2).
● Honesty is like a magnet—Honesty attracts; dishonesty repels. Anyone who wants to be attractive, to display effective leadership, to unite and bring people together, must build a life of honesty and integrity.
● Honesty pays dividends—Honesty in a business is the one trait that will do the most to ensure the vitality of that business. Customers will return to an honest enterprise that provides quality products and services; workers will flourish in an honest work environment; shareholders will be loyal where management is honest and forthright. So it is in other aspects of our lives: family, friends, and stewardships.
● Honesty has staying power—Honest is an enduring, perennial source of vitality; dishonesty is like a weed—it grows up quickly but is soon scorched in the sun of disclosure and blown away in the winds of discontent.
● Honesty liberates—The honest person has nothing to fear from the light of truth. Dishonesty enslaves. A dishonest act can lead to others in an attempt to cover the first. It is not difficult to discern the virus of dishonesty: If people will cheat in small things, they will cheat in big things, for they are slaves to their addiction.
3. Honesty is the backbone of leadership.
● Honesty is congruent—Be consistently honest. Authentic honesty is impartial to the situation. It operates always and in every case the same way: with truth and integrity.
● Honesty is a way to show love—You can teach honesty in the home by gentle persuasion, kindness, and love—honesty is a soul mate of love. You are honest with people out of love for them as children of God, and you teach honesty because it will generate the highest degree of harmony, peace, and unity among those you love, and among all people.
● Draw a line in the sand—Stand up for the principle of honesty. The most odious patron of dishonesty is the liar, the gossiper, the twister of truth. When you discern the operation of a liar in your community or in your workplace, take steps immediately to make truth the basis for decision making and policy formulation.
4. Honesty is the heart and soul of one’s covenant with God.
● Honesty is the soul of law—Is there another quality that better reflects the core essence of each of the Ten Commandments? If we are honest and true in our thoughts, our desires, our relationships, our speech, our service, and our devotion, we are on the straight and narrow.
● Honesty has roots in the Golden Rule—Honesty will always be enhanced if we remember the Golden Rule—to treat others as we would have them treat us. We want honesty from others, so we should expect it of ourselves.
● Honesty is the absolute of character qualities—Honesty is not only the best policy, it is the only policy. Let us pray that we will always be honest.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
In the following excerpt from Hartman Rector Jr., we learn that seemingly insignificant choices regarding honesty can set a pattern for our lives, and that honesty is always the right choice.
He Really Passed the Test
I had a friend, one time, who went to take a test in school, a test for which he had not studied. Of course he had prayed pretty hard about it. He had asked the Lord to help him remember something he had not bothered to learn. There are some things the Lord cannot do. Other things he can, but he will not. And praying will not work in these cases. I know; I have tried it. But as this friend went in to take this test, he found he was sitting right next to the smartest girl in the class. He said, “Well, this must be the answer to my prayer. Here she is. The Lord provided her, right here.” But he was a returned missionary. He had been preaching honesty for two years. It is very difficult to go against that which you have been preaching and for which you have had a witness of the Spirit. While he was arguing with himself about what he was going to do on this test, he flunked the test. But as a matter of fact he really passed.
You see, he had passed the Lord’s test, and that is the test that we have to pass here upon this earth. Tests are all around us. Fifty years from the day that he took the test he would not remember what his grade was, and it really would not make any difference so long as it was honest. But if he cheated on the test, he would remember that, for it makes an indelible imprint on the spirit. It also makes it easier the next time we are faced with a temptation where our honesty is in question to go down that “broad road.” Lucifer would not dare tempt you with a sin as grievous as robbing a bank with your first experience with dishonesty. That would turn you off. You would not dare do that. So he will start with something small, something little, something that seems insignificant. If you flunk that one, he will see to it that you get a larger one and than a larger one, until it reaches the point where some people can sit down and methodically work out a plan to rob a bank. Oh, they will rationalize some justification for it, such as, “It is insured by the government so nobody is losing anything.” Or, “Well, I really have it coming to me; I have not had the breaks that other people have.” This is called rationalization, which is a form of lying to yourself. But it is lying, nevertheless. As Nephi said: “. . . And thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell.” (2 Nephi 28:21.) (Hartman Rector, Jr., “Get Up and Glow,” Speeches of the Year, January 5, 1971, 7)
SUMMARY
The little exaggerations, the silent tongue when things need to be said, the so-called misrepresentations—all these are forms of dishonesty. Dishonesty within the bonds of matrimony is without doubt the most destructive force; families are devastated and the effects are so long lasting. In all situations, honesty is pivotal in maintaining a level of communication built on trust. Honesty is the best policy, or rather, the only policy—and should become our quest in all things. In our dealings with others and with the Lord, let us make honesty the flywheel of personal progress and the central principle of spiritual growth and vitality.
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HOPE
“All missionaries of the Lord are teachers of hope, hope that blesses the righteous with “peace in this world and eternal life in the world to come” (D&C 59:23). What is the lesson missionaries can pass on to those who are deeply discouraged and anxiously looking for relief in a troubling world? To have hope in Christ, for “with God all things are possible“ (Matthew 19:26). How can we all become more effective missionaries by fortifying our hope and guiding others to do the same in the spirit of gospel charity and light?”
Our anticipation and expectation for things to be better in our lives is called hope. True hope is based upon the Lord Jesus Christ and upon the concept of eternal life, which God promised to the faithful before the world began (see Titus 1:2). Hope provides us with a sense of confidence in looking forward in righteousness. When we lose hope, life becomes difficult in every sense. We then fail to enjoy life or to do anything to build a better future. A life without hope is empty, but a life filled with hope is a life filled with light and meaning. We can start with faith in Jesus Christ and confidence in the plan of redemption. Let us cultivate an attitude of being optimistic and use practical wisdom to develop a lifestyle based on uplifting hope.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Proverbs 10:28. The hope of the righteous shall be gladness: but the expectation of the wicked shall perish.
Hope gives one strength to deal with life. With hope we are positive: We know that sooner or later things will be better. Hope is integrally connected to faith. We cannot have one without the other.
Jeremiah 17:7. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.
True hope is centered in Christ. Through Christ we can obtain a forgiveness of sins through repentance, and anticipate a glorious resurrection. Christ is our Rock upon whom we build. We cannot fall when our hope and trust is in Him.
1 Corinthians 15:19. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.
Our hope in Christ is not just here in mortality; through Him we have hope for the eternities. That is why we should be filled with gladness. The hope for life eternal is in Christ.
2 Nephi 31:20. Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.
When we build our lives upon our Savior Jesus Christ, we have hope—a perfect brightness of hope which fills us with light. Hope is an attitude that can create a power and motivation to go forward and endure.
Ether 12:4. Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.
In order for us to have the power to cope with adversity, our lives must be riveted to hope, which is an anchor for our souls. Hope is not a platitude of simply having a positive attitude; rather, it is rooted in Christ, which gives us the strength to go forward doing good works. We are to seek hope through understanding the gospel plan and living its teachings.
Ether 12:32. And I also remember that thou hast said that thou hast prepared a house for man, yea, even among the mansions of thy Father, in which man might have a more excellent hope; wherefore man must hope, or he cannot receive an inheritance in the place which thou hast prepared.
The promises of our Heavenly Father concerning eternal life give us a desire that is so compelling that we want to return to His presence. Such is the essence of a more excellent hope.
Moroni 7:42–44. Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope. And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart. If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.
The fabric of a saintly life is woven out of the threads of hope, faith, meekness, and charity. These qualities combine to form the essence of discipleship. They are the indispensable qualities upon which an individual can build a lifetime of valor and obedience.
Moroni 8:26. And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God.
Hope is a gift of the Spirit conveyed to all who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit and are willing to sacrifice pride and selfishness in favor of a better way, the way of Christ.
Doctrine and Covenants 12:8. And no one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love, having faith, hope, and charity, being temperate in all things, whatsoever shall be entrusted to his care.
As we seek to build up the kingdom of God, we should remember that in order to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord we must first fulfill certain prerequisites. The foregoing scripture is a formula for service. Hope is so closely connected to faith and charity that it cannot be separated. When we depend upon God and exhibit the fruits of humility, exercise our faith, have an attitude of hope, and aspire to be full of charity, we will then be able to assist the Lord in His glorious work. 
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Russell M. Nelson:
The gospel of Jesus Christ provides hope for all in this wailing world. “Now, what do we hear in the gospel which we have received? A voice of gladness! A voice of mercy from heaven; and a voice of truth out of the earth; glad tidings for the dead; a voice of gladness for the living and the dead; glad tidings of great joy.” (D&C 128:19.) (The Gateway We Call Death [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1995], 108–109)
Neal A. Maxwell:
Real hope, said Paul, is a hope for things that are not seen that are true. (See Romans 8:24.) Paul accurately linked hopelessness and godlessness as he wrote of those “having no hope, and without God in the world.” (Ephesians 2:12.) Christ-centered hope, however, is a very specific and particularized hope. It is focused on the great realities of the resurrection, eternal life, a better world, and Christ’s triumphant second coming “things as they really will be.” (Jacob 4:13. Italics added.) (Notwithstanding My Weakness [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1981], 40–41)
Gordon B. Hinckley:
Ours is truly a message of hope and reconciliation. It is a word of hope for all mankind, a beacon of eternal truth to which men may look as they lift their eyes and souls to their Creator and in the process come to recognize their common brotherhood. (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 373)
Spencer W. Kimball:
We have a hope in Christ here and now. He died for our sins. Because of him and his gospel, our sins are washed away in the waters of baptism; sin and iniquity are burned out of our souls as though by fire; and we become clean, have clear consciences, and gain that peace which passeth understanding. (See Philip. 4:7.) . . .
We have also a hope in Christ for the eternity that lies ahead; otherwise, as Paul said, we would be “of all men most miserable” (1 Cor. 15:19). (“An Eternal Hope in Christ,” Ensign, November 1978, 71)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are three strategies for developing and maintaining an attitude of hope:
1. Understand that hope is power.
● Hope gets things done—Hope, like faith, is a self-fulfilling prophecy; it brings about the conditions to realize the vision that it sees for the future. Therefore, hope is an indispensable ally (see D&C 18:19).
● Hope is centered in Jesus Christ—The opportunity to repent and gain eternal life is made possible through the Savior, who wrought the magnificent Atonement and brought about the resurrection. Once we have this hope, we can repent, bettering ourselves and our lives.
● Hope is connected to faith—The power of faith is increased with an attitude of hope (see Ether 12:4).
● Hope is a guide for life—Through the eyes of hope, you see opportunities that would otherwise be invisible and therefore lost. Therefore, look at life from the perspective of hope (see 2 Ne. 31:20).
2. Identify and do those key actions that generate hope.
● Count your blessings—In particular, counting the blessings we receive from the gospel—and all those associated with eternal life—will fill us with hope. We can choose to look at the bright and optimistic side of life.
● Spend time with the hopeful—Which of your family members or friends would you characterize as being full of hope, optimistic, cheerful, eagerly working toward meaningful goals? Spend more time with those people when you need to recharge your spiritual and emotional batteries. Seek out a friend or associate who will help you see things clearly, and avoid pessimism. Read about exemplary people who have made hope a key part of their lives.
● Plan your agenda around hope—You can create a feeling of hope in life as you take the initiative to plan and carry out things that are enjoyable and uplifting.
● Be a problem-solver—If you begin to feel dejected or hopeless, it becomes imperative to study the situation and make decisions to solve the problem. Try to think of hope, rather than feeling despair. Remember that challenges are opportunities for growth.
● Work on long-range goals—Hope is a partner of action: the more you do the right kinds of things to attain your goals, the more hope you will have.
● Ask for hope—Look to God for help and comfort. The highest form of hope is one based on deep spiritual awakenings, especially as it relates to the Atonement (see Moro. 7 :41). Therefore, pray for hope each day.
● Think positively—It is your choice. You can do all things with faith (see Moro. 7:33) and in the strength of the Lord (see Alma 26:12). He will provide the way (see 1 Ne. 3:7). Live hopefully and cheerfully do all you can, and the arm of the Lord will be extended to you (see D&C 123:17).
3. Give hope to others, and it will expand in your own life.
● Make it a regular gift—Hope is a gift you give to others who depend on you; therefore, cultivate hope and then help others to have it.
● Be a leader of hope—A leader shows the vision of the future and then helps generate the hope-filled actions that bring it about. Without hope, there is no leadership; with hope, leadership is empowered to lift and inspire.
● Be a teacher of hope—In every lesson, in every teaching moment, it is vital to give hope to those you teach. With hope people can carry on. Without hope, sin and discouragement, even despair, are at the door.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
In the following story, told by Heidi S. Swinton, we learn that the Lord blesses those who faithfully pray to Him in hope—not only with a better life in mortality, but with eternal life.
Seven Times the Note Said Yes
Those who have lived in Bulgaria speak of the stunning countryside, the grand Balkan Mountains, and the choice resorts edging the Black Sea. Picturesque though it is, however, the dramatic scenery did not make bearable the oppressive social and political conditions imposed by the Communist government. Bulgarians feared the government, their associates, and even their “friends.” Yet getting out of the country was virtually impossible. To do so would take a miracle.
Kiril and Nevenka Kiriakov, a young dental technician and his wife, had long been praying for a way to leave Bulgaria to rear their children in freedom. A slim chance came in 1963 when Algeria became independent of France. The new country approached the Bulgarian government for assistance in restructuring its economy. The state laboratory was asked to furnish one dental technician for a two-year assignment. Kiril, like each of his six colleagues, hoped to be chosen. He later wrote in his personal history, “My chances were not good. Most of my colleagues had a contact or a relative who held a high position in the government, someone they could rely on for help. I knew of no one who could help me, so I put my entire faith and hope in our Heavenly Father. My wife and I decided that only our fervent prayers to the Lord could open the door to the free world.”
Everyone at the lab recognized that the position in Algeria was a passport to freedom. When the day of the selection came, “one of my colleagues proposed that we decide the matter by drawing lots, placing seven folded pieces of paper in a hat, six of which would have no written on them and one would contain the word yes.”
This seemed fair, and all agreed. The slips of paper were prepared and placed in the hat. Kiril drew his and opened it. “I could not believe my eyes,” he said, “the piece of paper I had drawn had yes written on it.”
Immediately his associates protested the outcome because he had been in the laboratory only eight months, and many of them had worked there for a lifetime. They insisted on another drawing. A second time Kiril drew the yes. Again they refused to accept the results. He returned the slip and drew another time but with the same astonishing result. Four more times the group drew from the hat. Each time, Kiril opened his slip of paper to find the yes. Finally, instead of objecting, the amazed group gathered around him. Although the Bulgarian government had outlawed all religious conviction, his associates agreed that the only way he could have drawn the yes slip seven times in a row was with the help of God. They had witnessed a miracle.
The Kiriakov family spent the next two years in Algeria. For them it was “like living in paradise.” At the end of their assignment, when Kiril was expected to return with his family to Bulgaria, he petitioned his government to return by way of France. Usually the procedure was to force the family to return separately to limit the possibility of defection. Kiril recalled, “The idea presented itself to add the words ‘and family’ on my exit permit and we were successful in obtaining tourist visas to France for the entire family.” The Kiriakovs defected in France.
Fifteen days later a bloody coup d’etat toppled the Communist government in Algeria, and all Bulgarians were rounded up and flown home en masse. But the Kiriakov family was safe in Marseilles.
About two years later, this Bulgarian family learned the reason the Lord had said yes to their leaving their homeland. Two missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints knocked on their door, “something that never would have happened in Bulgaria.” The Lord had opened the way for them to come to Zion.
“In their affliction they will seek me early.” (Hosea 5:15.) (Heidi S. Swinton, Pioneer Spirit: Modern-Day Stories of Courage and Conviction [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1996], 32)
SUMMARY
In our society, many people appear to be dejected, depressed, and in a state of hopelessness. Without hope, sin is often at the door waiting to enter our lives. The causes vary, but the solution is always possible through our Savior Jesus Christ. If we do not build upon the rock of our Redeemer, we cannot have lasting hope. Through the application of gospel principles, things always get better sooner or later. Jesus assured us: “with God all things are possible“ (Matt. 19:26).
♦
HUMILITY
“When the Lord’s missionaries are examples of humility, their listeners are inspired also to be humble. They are inspired to realize the truth of what King Benjamin taught his people: “. . . humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come” (Mosiah 4:11). How can we live worthy of receiving the answers to our humble prayers as we teach our listeners to do the same by following the example of the Redeemer’s humility and love?”
Humility is critical to our growth and learning. When we understand and acknowledge our relationship to and dependence upon God, we begin to be humble. In the state of humility—being submissive, easily entreated, and teachable—we receive the blessings of humility, including peace, inspiration, hope, and the guidance of the Lord. Humility involves having a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and it causes one to relate to God in gratitude and love.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Matthew 18:4. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
The Lord puts considerable emphasis on humility. We truly must become “as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19).
James 4:10. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
We become empowered by God by virtue of our relationship and dependence upon Him. He can use us as instruments in His hands if we are malleable and teachable.
Alma 32:16. Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in the word of God, and is baptized without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe.
When we humble ourselves before God we are blessed more than if we are compelled to be humble with trials, tribulations, famine, or pestilence. We grow much more quickly in the state of humility because we are open and teachable.
Doctrine and Covenants 12:8. And no one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love, having faith, hope, and charity, being temperate in all things, whatsoever shall be entrusted to his care.
In magnifying our callings and fulfilling our eternal roles, we simply cannot do the work effectively without humility. Remember that in the Church and kingdom of God, we are doing the Lord’s work, not our own.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Ezra Taft Benson:
Humility responds to God’s will—to the fear of His judgments and the needs of those around us. To the proud, the applause of the world rings in their ears; to the humble, the applause of heaven warms their hearts. (“Cleansing the Inner Vessel,” Ensign, May 1986, 4)
Dallin H. Oaks:
How, then, do we prevent our strengths from becoming our downfall? The quality we must cultivate is humility. Humility is the great protector. Humility is the antidote against pride. Humility is the catalyst for all learning, especially spiritual things. Through the prophet Moroni, the Lord gave us this great insight into the role of humility: “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27). (“Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, October 1994, 11)
Gordon B. Hinckley:
Be humble. Don’t be arrogant. The world is full of arrogant people. Oh, how obnoxious they are! How obnoxious is an arrogant man. Girls, isn’t that so? And how obnoxious, likewise, is an arrogant girl.
Be humble. There is no place for arrogance with any of us. There is no place for egotism with any of us. There is no place for crass pride.
People ask me frequently what is my favorite verse of scripture. I have many and this is one of them, “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers” (D&C 112:10). (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 265)
Spencer W. Kimball:
Humble and meek properly suggest virtues, not weaknesses. They suggest a consistent mildness of temper and an absence of wrath and passion. Humility suggests no affectation, no bombastic actions. It is not turgid nor grandiloquent. It is not servile submissiveness. It is not cowed nor frightened. No shadow or the shaking of a leaf terrorizes it.
How does one get humble? To me, one must constantly be reminded of his dependence. On whom dependent? On the Lord. How remind oneself? By real, constant, worshipful, grateful prayer. . . .
Humility is teachableness—an ability to realize that all virtues and abilities are not concentrated in oneself. . . .
Humility is gracious, quiet, serene—not pompous, spectacular, nor histrionic. It is subdued, kindly, and understanding—not crude, blatant, loud, or ugly. Humility is not just a man or a woman but a perfect gentleman and a gentlelady. It never struts nor swaggers. Its faithful, quiet works will be the badge of its own accomplishments. It never sets itself in the center of the stage, leaving all others in supporting roles. Humility is never accusing nor contentious. It is not boastful.
When one becomes conscious of his great humility, he has already lost it. When one begins boasting of his humility, it has already become pride—the antithesis of humility.
Humility is repentant and seeks not to justify its follies. It is forgiving others in the realization that there may be errors of the same kind or worse chalked up against itself. . . .
It is not self-abasement—the hiding in the corner, the devaluation of everything one does or thinks or says; but it is the doing of one’s best in every case and leaving of one’s acts, expressions, and accomplishments to largely speak for themselves. (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982], 233)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are five ideas for developing, maintaining, and exhibiting humility:
1. Humility is the beginning of spirituality.
● Fast and pray often—Pray and fast for humility (see Hel. 3:35). The essence of humility is the prayer in which you say with sincerity, “Thy will be done.”
● See from a higher perspective—Remember that all are of equal value in the sight of God, no one greater than another (see Alma 1:26).
● Listen to spiritual input—Be easily entreated; be teachable and then you will always be learning (see Alma 7:23; 13:28).
● Acknowledge your dependence upon God—Recognize and remember your relationship to God and your total dependence upon Him (see Mosiah 4:5).
● Receive the grace of God—When you acknowledge our dependence on God in all humility, you are then able to receive the goodness and grace of God in your life and overcome humankind’s weak nature through Him (see Ether 12:27).
2. Humility is a quality of strength. Humility is not a weakness; we become strong in our humility (see Hel. 3:35). Humility says of an individual that he or she is willing to learn, willing to work with others, willing to admit mistakes and improve, willing to operate under the principle that only God is perfect, omniscient, and omnipotent.
● Make humility part of your nature—Be “clothed in humility,” or humble in everything you do and say (see 1 Pet. 5:5).
● Choose to be humble—Seek to be humbled by the word of God and His goodness rather than being compelled to be humble due to the difficult situations (see Alma 32:16; 48:20).
● Humility is required of those who serve—We must be humble in order to receive direction from the Lord and assist in the work (see D&C 12:8).
3. Humility belongs in the family.
● Grow together—Humility in a family setting means listening to every voice, having family councils to make plans and decisions that bless the lives of everyone, and suppressing any manifestation of anger, sarcasm, or abuse of any kind.
● Foster a childlike nature—Get down on the floor and play with some children. Learn from their innocent delight in learning and frolicking. Learn from their zest for life. Learn from their candor and honesty. Be humble like a child and life will suddenly be filled with the wonder of endless learning and growth.
4. Humility belongs in the workplace.
● Value all alike—Humility in the workplace means a willingness to listen to good ideas from everyone—superiors and subordinates alike.
● Listen to learn—Humility presupposes a willingness to listen without judgment until there is clarity of thought and direction.
5. Humility belongs in society.
● Humility makes society flow—Humility is a cousin to courtesy and a sibling of forgiveness. It is that oil that renders interpersonal relationships smooth and wholesome.
● Humility is the foundation for respect—Treat all persons with kindness, love, and respect. Never put down another to elevate yourself.
● Compete for self-mastery—Competition to beat someone else often creates pride unless within the competition we recognize the real challenge: to react with dignity and humility, regardless of whether we win or lose.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
The following story, related by Eldred G. Smith, former Church Patriarch, demonstrates the greatest lessons we learn in life are studies in humbling ourselves before the Lord.
He Had Quit Several Times
All the requirements of living the gospel become easier through humility.
A young man told me his experience in becoming a member of the Church, which is typical of many in their activities of investigating the Church. He said the missionaries came to the lesson on the Word of Wisdom. He and his wife were both users of tobacco. After the meeting was over and the missionaries had left, they talked it over with each other and decided among themselves, “Well, if that is what the Lord wants and if this is the Lord’s Church, we will try it.” He said that he was not particularly concerned about himself, he thought he could do it easily. He was worried about his wife; she had never tried to quit before. On the other hand, he had quit several times. After proving to himself that he could quit, of course, he went back to the use of cigarettes again. But he said in this case it was just the reverse.
His wife quit without any apparent difficulty, but he had tremendous difficulty. He became nervous and irritable. He could not rest. He was cranky among his fellow workers. He could not sleep at night. But inasmuch as his wife had quit, he was not going to be outdone by her. So, one night, he became so restless, so disturbed that he could not sleep, and his wife suggested to him that he pray about it. He thought that was a good joke. He ridiculed the idea of prayer; he said, “This is something I have to do. Nobody can help me with this. I can do this.” But as the night passed and he had done everything he could to stimulate sleep and rest without any success, finally in despair, he humbled himself enough to kneel at the side of the bed and pray vocally.
According to his own testimony, he said that he got up from his prayer, got into bed, went to sleep, and has never been tempted by cigarettes since. He has absolutely lost his taste for tobacco. He said, “The Word of Wisdom was not a health program for me. It was a lesson of humility.” He said, “I had to learn humility.” That is what it meant to him. As it is with many of the requirements of the Church, we have to demonstrate humble obedience. (Eldred G. Smith, Conference Report, April 1955, 42)
SUMMARY
This world boasts men of great wisdom, women of great worth, and people with outstanding accomplishments, but no one stands as tall as the one who is humble in all of his or her achievements. Humility not only enables us to do good but blesses all of mankind. When we are humb le, we are constantly reminded of our dependence upon God in all things. Humility provokes us to pray, an act demonstrating we know our lowly place in the grand scheme of things. Humility gives us strength in the Lord. This strength gives us self-worth and the self-confidence to do significant things. President Ezra Taft Benson teaches us: “With humility, there come many blessings. For example, ‘Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers’ (D&C 112:10). The humble will ‘be made strong, and blessed from on high, and receive knowledge’ (D&C 1:28). The Lord is ‘merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts’ (D&C 61:2). Humility can turn away God’s anger (see Helaman 11:11)” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 370).
♦
HUSBAND
“When we reach out as emissaries of the Lord to the husbands and wives of families we teach, we do so in the spirit of respect and honor for their heavenly calling as loving parents. The husband and wife are honored as equal partners with the sacred obligation to bless their children and provide temporal and spiritual blessings through the guidance of the Lord. How can we as the Lord’s missionaries gain greater understanding and skill in reaching out effectively to the husbands and fathers of families we teach? How can we help strengthen their resolve to follow in the footsteps of the Savior by honoring the will of our Heavenly Father with faith and resolve?”
The role of husband should be the most prominent one in every man’s life. The greatest fulfillment in life really lies within the family unit. In today’s society, many men abdicate their role as husband, and both their wife and their children suffer. Husbands must realize that their role can have no substitute, that no one can take that place. Make a commitment to be the best husband for your wife.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
1 Corinthians 7:3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
When we make our first concern the well-being of our mate, we will show compassion and empathy. We will be warm-hearted and understanding. Indeed, we will be charitable in all things.
Ephesians 5:23–28. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
When we realize as husbands that we are responsible for the well-being of our wife in all things, we will express our love and concern for her. In turn, she will want us to preside and take care of things even as Christ did for the Church. Christ did everything for us because He loved us, and yet we are stewards of our own lives. Likewise we should do everything we can for our sweetheart. “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” 1995).
Colossians 3:19. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Love is the feeling and action that we show people we care about. It is a “devoted concern,” if you will, that brings about righteous service on behalf of others. Within the marital relationship, this cannot be done merely as a duty but rather should be done with emotion and passion for the happiness of your companion. If we do things with a bad attitude, begrudgingly, harboring resentment in any form, we are indeed “bitter” and not pure in our actions. We should truly love our wife with all of our hearts (see D&C 42:22).
Jacob 2:31. For behold, I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land of Jerusalem, yea, and in all the lands of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands.
We must be completely faithful in our marriage. Infidelity brings immeasurable sorrow and devastation to families. We must make the commitment to keep our marriage covenants at all times.
Doctrine and Covenants 75:28. And again, verily I say unto you, that every man who is obliged to provide for his own family, let him provide, and he shall in nowise lose his crown; and let him labor in the church.
As husbands, we are responsible for the temporal welfare of our wife and family. This is part of our eternal role—we are the providers. The consequences are clear if we do not fulfill our duty towards our family.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Joseph Smith:
It is the duty of a husband to love, cherish, and nourish his wife, and cleave unto her and none else; he ought to honor her as himself, and he ought to regard her feelings with tenderness, for she is his flesh, and his bone, designed to be an help unto him, both in temporal, and spiritual things; one into whose bosom he can pour all his complaints without reserve, who is willing (being designed) to take part of his burden, to soothe and encourage his feelings by her gentle voice. It is the place of the man, to stand at the head of his family, and be lord of his own house, not to rule over his wife as a tyrant, neither as one who is fearful or jealous that his wife will get out of her place, and prevent him from exercising his authority. It is his duty to be a man of God (for a man of God is a man of wisdom,) ready at all times to obtain from the scriptures, the revelations, and from on high, such instructions as are necessary for the edification, and salvation of his household. (Encyclopedia of Joseph Smith’s Teachings, ed. Larry E. Dahl and Donald Q. Cannon [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1997], 410–11)
Brigham Young:
Let the husband and father learn to bend his will to the will of his God, and then instruct his [wife] and children in this lesson of self-government by his example as well as by precept, and his neighbors also, showing them how to be brave and steadfast, in subduing the rebellious and sinful disposition. Such a course as this will eventually subdue that unhallowed influence which works upon the human heart. (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1954], 198)
Ezra Taft Benson:
The Apostle Paul points out that “the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:23; italics added). That is the model we are to follow in our role of presiding in the home. We do not find the Savior leading the Church with a harsh or unkind hand. We do not find the Savior treating His Church with disrespect or neglect. We do not find the Savior using force or coercion to accomplish His purposes. Nowhere do we find the Savior doing anything but that which edifies, uplifts, comforts, and exalts the Church. Brethren, I say to you with all soberness, He is the model we must follow as we take the spiritual lead in our families. (“To the Fathers in Israel,” Ensign, November 1987, 48)
Gordon B. Hinckley:
The most important decision of life is the decision concerning your companion. Choose prayerfully. And when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another. Selfishness is the great destroyer of happy family life. I have this one suggestion to offer. If you will make your first concern the comfort, the well-being, and the happiness of your companion, sublimating any personal concern to that loftier goal, you will be happy, and your marriage will go on through eternity. (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 328–29)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are some ideas that can help husbands fulfill their most significant role:
1. Build from within.
● Establish gospel principles—Build your marriage and family relationship on a foundation of honor, honesty, service, and harmony. These principles will help your relationship endure.
● Put your priorities in order—Make being husband and father the highest priority and goal in your life. Your wife will rise to the level of your love for her. Treat her as a princess and she will be a princess. Treat her as a queen and she will be a queen. Treat her as a goddess and she will someday be a goddess. It is your choice.
2. Use constructive strategies with long-term benefits.
● Be a loyal provider—Provide for your wife and family in the best possible way so that your wife can be a true homemaker.
● Honor your wife’s role—Recognizing the role of your wife as your sweetheart and the mother of your children is of quintessential importance in the home. Women are simply more sensitive and nurturing by nature. This does not mean that you cannot show these qualities as well in your role as the husband or father, but she is the wife and mother.
● Use tenderness—Be tender in your intimacy with your wife.
● Be forgiving—Do not expect perfection from your wife and family. We should all try to progress together.
● Be an example of love—Confirm the old saying, “The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother.”
● Recognize the differences—Women have different needs; help them fulfill them.
3. Find common ground and common purpose. Have many common goals: health, companionship, spiritual growth, and leaving a legacy of honor and harmony for your children. Here are some of the mutually important things for husband and wife to keep in mind:
● Fidelity in all things—Even “harmless” flirtation with others can lead to adultery, which destroys families.
● Loyalty—Be loyal to and supportive of your wife.
● Selflessness—Think of her first, before yourself.
● Overcoming selfishness—Selfishness is the cause of virtually all marital discord. It is evidenced in the inability to communicate and reason together, leading to misunderstandings, unrealized expectations, and demanding behavior, among other things.
● Communication—Be willing to counsel together. Discuss all things relating to your marriage, your family, and your lives.
● Happiness—Channel and sublimate your efforts for the well-being and happiness of your wife.
● Togetherness—Do things together: dining, vacationing, fun activities, domestic chores—simply everything where possible. Take time to plan a fun vacation together.
● Empathy—If you practice empathy and understanding, then you will appreciate your wife. Gratitude will abound. Your attitudes toward each other will change, as will your behavior. If it’s important to your wife, it should be important to you.
● Service—Look for ways to serve each other and your children.
● Uniqueness—Recognize that each of you has unique roles in your marriage. Be understanding and supportive.
● Praise—Genuinely praise your sweetheart. Write her love notes. Give her sweet surprises.
● Privacy—Give her space, for friends, hobbies, etc.
● Affection—Be affectionate. Children need to know that you like to show affection to your wife and accept the same from her.
● Worship together—Search the scriptures together. Pray together. Genuinely seek spiritual growth with your wife. Nothing will add a more lasting glow to the relationship.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
Elder L. Tom Perry relates a touching exchange between David O. McKay’s wife and a young boy who noticed President McKay’s adoration of his spouse.
I Guess that Man Loves You
Let me tell you an experience related by Emma Rae McKay, wife of President David O. McKay:
“Last summer on reaching Los Angeles, we decided to have our car washed by one of those ‘Quickies’ on Wilshire Boulevard.
“As I was watching the last part of the operation from a bench, to my surprise a tiny voice at my elbow said, ‘I guess that man over there loves you.’
“I turned and saw a beautiful little curly-haired child with great brown eyes who looked to be about seven years of age.
“ ‘What did you say?’ I asked.
“ ‘I said, I guess that man over there loves you.’
“ ‘Oh, yes, he loves me; he is my husband. But why do you ask?’
“A tender smile lighted up his face and his voice softened as he said, ’Cuz, the way he smiled at you. Do you know I’d give anything in this world if my pop would smile at my mom that way.’
“ ‘Oh, I’m sorry if he doesn’t.’
“ ‘I guess you’re not going to get a divorce,’ he [questioned me].
“ ‘No, of course not; we’ve been married over fifty years. Why do you ask that?’
“ ’Cuz everybody gets a divorce around here. My pop is getting a divorce from my mom, and I love my pop and I love my mom. . . .
“His voice broke and tears welled up in his eyes, but he was too much of a little man to let them fall.
“ ‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that!’
“And then he came very close and whispered confidentially into my ear, ‘You’d better hurry out of this place or you’ll be getting a divorce too!’ “ (The Savior, the Priesthood and You, Melchizedek Priesthood Manual, 1973–74, p. 207.)
Husbands, are your actions at all times a reflection of your love for wife? If that had been you at the carwash, would that little boy have noticed the same tender love in so much abundance? (L. Tom Perry, “Father—Your Role, Your Responsibility,” Ensign, November 1977, 62)
* * *
In the following personal account, a woman tells of her appreciation for her husband’s vigilant attendance at her hospital bedside during a serious illness.
A Face in the Night
I remember a woman recounting a personal experience. She was a sensitive wife who was paying tribute to the role of husband on a special Father’s Day program. There was deep, responsive quiet in the audience as this woman spoke. She explained: “One of my most memorable, beautiful experiences happened while I was in the hospital’s intensive care section the first night after surgery for cancer. Momentarily I regained consciousness, opened my eyes, and there, leaning over the foot of my bed, was a heavenly face, radiant, anxious, beautiful! ‘What time is it?’ I inquired. (Always concerned about the about time—but why? I wasn’t going anywhere.) ‘Three a.m.’ he replied. Conscious enough to make a strong judgment, I answered, ‘Not many husbands would come at that hour in the morning.’ And then I was gone again. As long as I live, I need only to close my eyes to see that most transparent, handsome face—showing concern, his interest, his love for me. How disappointing it must have been for him to see me close my eyes again after that brief communion! He sat in a chair in my room the remainder of the night, and several other nights—just to be near me.” Oh, husbands are important to wives!
—Ed J. Pinegar
SUMMARY
The husband is to be the protector, the provider, and stabilizing influence in the home. This is the doctrine of the Jesus Christ. It is essential for a strong marriage and happy family. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” 1995). Cherish your wife, appreciate her in all facets of life, and she will show gratitude. Be her best friend and confidant. Counsel together. Make your role as husband fulfilling in every way. Value it and treasure it and you will become the man your wife always wanted to marry.
♦
JESUS CHRIST
“The glorious purpose of missionary service is to share the saving message that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, the Shepherd of Israel. How can we best fulfill that purpose as representatives of the Lord, who is the greatest of all teachers? Let us all be grateful to the Lord for His glorious example. Let us all share our testimony with others in faith and humility, for that is the calling of the Lord’s missionaries: to teach others this solemn truth: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3).”
Jesus Christ was the Firstborn in spirit and the Only Begotten in the flesh of God the Father. Under the direction of God the Father, He was the Creator of the earth (see John 1:3). He performed the infinite Atonement, which serves as the foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ and through which all mankind can be saved. Everything of eternal worth centers in Jesus Christ: the gospel, the priesthood, the Church and the plan of happiness. It is imperative to come to know God and Jesus Christ, for this is life eternal (see John 17:3). The Topical Guide lists hundred of scriptures concerning the life and roles of the Savior, and it would be impossible herein to paint the full picture of His importance in our lives. Life truly is about “coming unto Christ” and keeping His commandments. This section is but a brief sampling of what we can say about our Savior.
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Deuteronomy 32:4. He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he.
This perfect and just God, Jesus Christ, must be our foundation. Because of His perfection, we can trust in Him and build our lives on the foundation of His gospel (see Hel. 5:12).
1 Timothy 2:5–6. For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, that man Christ Jesus; Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.
Christ’s mission, simply put, was to come and make it possible for us, imperfect beings, to return to our perfect Father in Heaven. He is the Mediator who bridges the gap our imperfection creates. He atoned for our sins so we could be made pure to dwell with God (see Moro. 10:32).
2 Nephi 31:16. And now, my beloved brethren, I know by this that unless a man shall endure to the end, in following the example of the Son of the living God, he cannot be saved.
We should follow Christ’s example in all things. Because He wants us to return to His Father, He showed us the way, and then commanded us to be even as He is (see 3 Ne. 27:27).
Mosiah 3:8. And he shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning; and his mother shall be called Mary.
Jehovah, the premortal Christ, is the Creator. When we see the beauty of the earth and mankind, we should reflect on the goodness of God.
Doctrine and Covenants 93:9. The light and the Redeemer of the world; the Spirit of truth, who came into the world, because the world was made by him, and in him was the life of men and the light of men.
The light of the Lord is in and through all things (see D&C 88). Christ is the Light that we should hold up (see 3 Ne. 18:24). He redeems us through His atoning sacrifice and by the power of the resurrection (see Mosiah 18:2). All of this causes an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that inspires us to do the will of God.
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Spencer W. Kimball:
Men may know Christ. The ultimate and greatest of all knowledge, then, is to know God and his program for our exaltation. We may know him by sight, by sound, by feeling. While relatively few ever do really know him, everyone may know him, not only prophets—ancient and modern—but, as he said: “Every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am.” (D&C 93:1.) (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, edited by Edward L. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982], 7)
Gordon B. Hinckley:
Believe in Jesus Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of the world. It is He who stands at the head of this Church to which you belong. This Church is not mine. It belongs to the Lord Jesus Christ. It bears His holy name. He stands at the head of this great work. He stands to assist us with our problems. He stands to bless us in our time of need. (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], 199)
Marion G. Romney:
Latter-day Saints know that much pain and suffering could be avoided if people would accept and follow the Savior. Our mission as a church is to bring people to a knowledge of Christ and thus avoid all unnecessary suffering. (Look to God and Live [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1971], 241)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
Here are some ideas to help us increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ, and to help us love and follow Him:
1. Know and accept that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of the world.
● Search the scriptures, for they testify of Christ—The word of God testifies of Christ (see John 5:39). Indeed, we refer to our books of scripture as “testaments.” In studying Christ’s words, we not only learn to know Him, but to love Him and His teachings. As we learn of Christ through His words, we will enjoy His peace (see D&C 19:23).
● Seek revelation from God—We can know that Jesus is the Christ by the power of revelation (Matt. 16:17), for the Holy Ghost will give us this knowledge (see 1 Cor. 12:3). Through prayer and inspiration, we can learn the truth of all things (see Moro. 10:4–5).
● Do the will of God to know of the truthfulness of the doctrine of Christ—When we live the doctrine of Christ, we will know the Author (see John 7:17).
● All things testify of God and Christ—Every blessing in our lives, every good thing, and the magnificent creations show us there is a God and that He loves us (see Alma 30:44).
● Seek the testimonies of the prophets, especially in the Book of Mormon—The prophets and the scriptures speak of God and His Son Jesus Christ (see Alma 30:44). The Book of Mormon is to convince the world that Jesus is the Christ (see Title Page of the Book of Mormon). A prophet’s greatest desire is for others to believe in Christ (see 2 Ne. 33:10).
2. Love our Savior Jesus Christ.
● Remember the goodness of our Savior at all times—Everything the Lord has done for us, including the infinite Atonement, is because He loves us (see 2 Ne. 26:24). We should love Him because He first loved us (see 1 Jn. 4:19).
● Remember that He succors us in all things—The Savior suffered our sins and sorrows so He would be able to help us according to the flesh (see Alma 7:11–12). We truly are indebted to the Savior for our very lives (see Mosiah 2:21), and this should inspire us to keep the commandments (see Mosiah 2:22). When we realize His love for us, we will come to love Him, and when we love Him we will keep the commandments (see John 14:15).
3. Follow our Savior Jesus Christ.
● Accept the invitation of Jesus Christ to “come unto Him”—Through faith, repentance, baptism, and receiving the Holy Ghost, we take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ; we become His sons and daughters (see Mosiah 5:7). These are the first steps in following our Savior. As we endure to the end, we can be perfected and enter into our exaltation (see 3 Ne. 12:48; Moro. 10:32).
● Live by the word of God—We are to live by every word of our Lord and Savior (see D&C 84:43–46), because the word will tell us all things we should do (see 2 Ne. 32:3). The Lord will guide us through life if we let Him.
● Seek to build up the kingdom of God—As members of the Church and followers of Christ, we seek to build up His kingdom (see JST Matt. 6:38). We do this by sharing our joys and bringing souls unto Christ (see Alma 29:9–10; Alma 36:24), strengthening our brothers and sisters (see D&C 108:7), and entering into our temple covenants and redeeming the dead (see D&C 128:15).
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
The following experience makes us stop and ponder what it will be like to see our Savior face-to-face after this life.
That Was Christ
I was attending the celebrated Passion Play at Oberammergau in Southern Germany in 1960, along with a number of other missionaries. It was interesting to walk the streets of this quaint and beautiful village and observe the townsfolk, virtually all of whom participated on stage during the performances. They looked as though they had just stepped out of a period of time millennia old. At one point we entered the bookstore near the theater to purchase a copy of the text for the performance next day. As we were considering our purchase, we noticed a distinguished gentleman walk in. He had a pleasant countenance, with a prepossessing smile, a well-trimmed beard, and long, neat tresses. Everyone in the store fell silent at his approach. He made a purchase and then left. Noting our puzzled looks, the saleswoman leaned over and whispered to us in hushed tones, “Das war der Christus” (“That was Christ.”) It gave us a chill to think that we had come so close to “Christus”—even though in this case he was only an actor, albeit one who commanded great respect in the village, even reverence. Then we pondered the lesson flowing out of this brief encounter: “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (1 Jn. 3:2). There will come a time, for all mankind, when the encounter with the Son of God will be literal—for the faithful and obedient, a moment of glory and peace; for the disobedient and non-valiant, a moment of profound remorse. And when we see Him, we will also see the Father, for Christ is “the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person” (Heb. 1:3). As we are created in the image of God and His Son, we are reminded to honor this heritage and rise spiritually to meet the awesome potential that is upon us.
—Richard J. Allen
* * *
In a personal story, Elder Marion D. Hanks, demonstrates the necessity of sharing our testimonies of Jesus Christ with others.
Say, Hanks, Do You Believe in Jesus Christ?
The Christmas story that I want to mention occurred in the middle of the summer some years ago, at a naval training center. The man opposite me in the room had the many stripes on his arm that signified long and distinguished service; I was an apprentice seaman in boot camp. Nonetheless, Commander Hamilton, as he greeted me at the door, was most gracious—called me “Mr. Hanks,” seated me with cordiality, and we talked as equals. He had invited me to discuss the possibility of a chaplaincy. I was quick to tell him that because of a mission, I had not finished an academic degree and didn’t qualify under the Navy’s standards. He as quickly responded that he felt he could do something about getting that requirement waived, all things else being favorable. After a little more conversation, this rangy, fine looking man, who had been over the bow of the Yorktown on a line when she was sunk shortly before, who had everything about him that was manly and attractive to a man and was a chaplain and servant of the Lord, not of our faith, said to me, “Before I recommend you to the Chief of Chaplains, do me a favor, please. Talk to me about your experience in your Church, about what you think may help me recommend you as qualified to represent the Lord in the military chaplaincy.”
And so I began, and, I want to protest, with earnestness and honesty, to try to tell him what I felt, out of our common experience in the Church, might qualify me to serve in that very significant role. He who had been so courteous and so kind began to be fidgety, and I quickly knew, as we do when we seek to communicate person-to-person, that I wasn’t making it, that I was losing. And I became a little more anxious, trying to tell him what there is, this stage-by-stage opportunity in the Church for a young person to develop the quality to be a servant of God. I told him from the beginning—the early two and a half minute talks, the scouting, the deacon opportunity, the Sunday School teaching, and the mission.
After a time his demeanor completely changed. He finally interrupted me. He said, “Say, Hanks, do you believe in Jesus Christ?”
I said, “Yes, sir. Everything I believe relates to Jesus Christ. The name of the Church that I belong to is his name. My faith revolves around him as my Savior.”
He, looking at his watch, said, “Well, you have been talking seven minutes and you haven’t said so.” I think I have not made that mistake again. (Marion D. Hanks, “Was He Relevant?” BYU Speeches of the Year, December 17, 1968, 2–3)
SUMMARY
Our Savior’s purpose is to bring about our immortality and eternal life. Our purpose should be to center our lives on the Savior and His gospel plan. As we live the gospel and receive the sacred ordinances of the temple, we come to know our Savior and can receive the blessings of exaltation. We hope and pray for all mankind to come unto Christ that they may partake of His goodness and dwell with Him and our Heavenly Father in the celestial kingdom.
♦
JOY
“The enduring state of joy and happiness is the grand harvest of missionary service. When we prepare ourselves in holiness to share the truths of the gospel with others, joy begins to sprout and rise within us. When we help others to become holy through the blessings of the gospel, then our joy is magnified and blended with the joy of those we serve in love. How can we prepare ourselves in fuller measure to be more effective in bringing others to the fountain of joy where they can partake of the eternal blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ?”
Everyone seeks happiness; it is the object of our existence. It is important to realize the difference between short-term pleasure and lasting joy. Pleasure-seeking tends to be short term in nature and must be re-experienced continually because it is not happiness. We can feel good, but it is not true happiness. This does not preclude us having an enjoyable time or doing fun things with friends and associates. To be truly happy, however, we must have the love of God in our hearts (see 4 Ne. 1:15–16), which will result in a myriad of blessings in our lives. The state of happiness comes from righteousness (see Mosiah 2:41).
THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US
Psalms 146:5. Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God.
Joy can be found only in our God and our Savior Jesus Christ, for in and through Them we are sustained, blessed, and given hope of eternal life, which God promised before the world began (see Titus 1:2).
Proverbs 29:18. Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
When we don’t see life with proper perspective, or the “vision” of the gospel, we dwell in confusion and uncertainty. Obedience is the only sure way to happiness and joy. Obedience leads us to righteousness, through which we can enjoy a state of never-ending happiness.
3 John 1:4. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
As mortals, we feel joy in our family as we see our family members progress on the path to eternal life. This provides a glimpse of the joy of the Lord over a soul that repents (see D&C 18:13) and over those who show an increase in faith (see 3 Ne. 17:20). Truly our joy lies in living the gospel and helping others to do so.
1 Nephi 8:10. And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.
The fruit of the tree Lehi speaks of is the love of God. The love of God was expressed through the gift of His Only Begotten Son, who would redeem the world and provide an opportunity for all to enjoy eternal life. We should not hold to the iron rod and stay on the straight and narrow path and partake of His goodness; therein is joy.
Mosiah 2:41. And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.
Obedience to the commandments of God and enduring to the end will lead us back to the presence of God, to a state of never-ending happiness. Obedience—exact, immediate, and courageous obedience—should be our quest. We can find joy through keeping the commandments.
Alma 29:9–10. I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy. And behold, when I see many of my brethren truly penitent, and coming to the Lord their God, then is my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what the Lord has done for me, yea, even that he hath heard my prayer; yea, then do I remember his merciful arm which he extended towards me.
We find joy in serving the Lord by helping others repent and come unto Him. Joy can only be found in serving and helping others grow (see D&C 18:10–16).
MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK
Ezra Taft Benson:
If you really want to receive joy and happiness, then serve others with all your heart. Lift their burdens, and your own burdens will be lighter. Truly in the words of Jesus of Nazareth: “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matt. 10:39.) (Come, Listen to a Prophet’s Voice [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1990], 59–60)
Missionary work provides us the happiest years of our lives. I know whereof I speak. I have tasted the joy of missionary work. There is no work in all the world that can bring an individual greater joy and happiness. Like Ammon of old, our joy can be full because of seeing others come into the kingdom of God. (Come unto Christ [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1983], 95)
David O. McKay:
It is the duty of parents and of the Church not only to teach but to demonstrate to young people that living a life of truth and moral purity brings joy and happiness, while violations of moral and social laws result only in dissatisfaction, sorrow, and, when carried to extremes, in degradation. (Steppingstones to an Abundant Life [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1971], 93)
Joy is sweeter than pleasure. Joy is an emotion excited with the acquisition or expectation of good. Pleasure is a state of gratification of the senses or mind and may be sensuous. It may be self-indulgence. It is nearly always transitory. Joy and happiness are permanent. Joy is pleasure not to be repented of. (Steppingstones to an Abundant Life [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1971], 219)
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING:
Here are four ideas to help us find happiness.
1. Happiness and joy depend on how we relate to God.
● Obedience—Happiness comes through obeying God, keeping His commandments (see Prov. 29:18), and blessing others (see Alma 36:24).
● Receiving the love of God—God’s love expressed through the gift of His Beloved Son (see John 3:16–17) is the source of our joy, and is represented by the fruit of the tree of life (see 1 Ne. 8:10). This love, when it dwells in our hearts, causes us to live righteously and to enjoy happiness (4 Ne. 1:15–16).
● Separation from God brings sorrow—We separate ourselves from God through wickedness and lose the Spirit because of our disobedience (see 2 Ne. 26:11; Morm. 1:14). We cannot enjoy true happiness in wickedness, because wickedness never was happiness (see Alma 41:10).
● Blessings—Knowing that by keeping the commandments we can dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness (see Mosiah 2:41), we are motivated and drawn forward in our desire to repent and humbly seek and pursue happiness (see Alma 27:18).
● Peace—Happiness is inner peace that endures because of righteousness. It is a gift from the Lord. It is peace that transcends mortality (see D&C 59:23).
2. Happiness and joy depend on how we deal with ourselves.
● Attitude—An attitude of faith and hope attracts us to joy and happiness, and that is the way we choose to live (see 2 Ne. 5:27). Our attitudes will affect our level of happiness more than almost anything else, because as we think, so are we (see Prov. 23:7). “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” (Abraham Lincoln).
● Principles—Happiness is knowing that we have aligned our lives with gospel principles and values that are not momentary and fleeting, but have endurance. Our “contentment level” must come from adherence to values and standards that are designed to bring us happiness. We cannot be happy doing things that hurt ourselves and others.
● Rejoicing in success—Happiness is knowing that we have overcome our trials and temptations, our weaknesses and mortal frailties.
● Being—Happiness is a state of being, not a state of ownership or worldly attainment. We should not let success and happiness depend on possessions, positions, or comparisons.
3. Happiness and joy depend on how we deal with others.
● Service—Happiness is the perception that we have enriched the lives of others in ways that bring them lasting joy and peace (see Alma 36:24).
● Togetherness—Happiness is togetherness with those we love. When we have someone to share our happiness with, we are infinitely more happy.
● Discernment—Happiness is the capacity to discern in every person, if not the creativity of a Michelangelo or the brilliance of an Einstein or the compassion of a Florence Nightingale, then at least the capacity of a child of God who is striving, growing, and reaching to become like Him.
4. Happiness and joy depend on how we deal with life.
● Meaning—Happiness is an assurance that we have gained the vision of eternal life sufficient to infuse us with purpose, meaning, and the hope of an eternal family living in the presence of God.
● Simplicity—Happiness is the ability to see in any given moment the purpose of life, goodness, and joy—all because you are alive and can choose your steps in life. Don’t look beyond the mark. Enjoy the journey of life. Find joy in the simple things of life along the way.
● Beauty—Happiness is the thrill of experiencing the beauties of life and nature in all its wondrous variety and abundance, and realizing that it is a gift from God because He loves us.
ILLUSTRATIONS FOR OUR TIME
This narrative about the personal search for happiness reveals the timeless truth—that true joy is what we do and what we are, not in what we have.
The Dream Home
As young students in graduate school, we weren’t very wealthy. In fact, we struggled. I borrowed in order to get through school. And for our dates, we would buy graph paper and draw our future dream house. This went on for nine years as we began our lives, did a stint in the military, and came back again. And after nine years of marriage and moving ten times, it looked like we were finally going to be in our dream home. My sweetheart drew the plans. All those days we’d taken that graph paper and said, “When we move into our house then we can really be happy. Then we can really be happy.”
Well, around the tenth year, we began to move into our new home. It was beautiful, located on a mountain crest looking over the valley, under the shadows of the mountain peaks. It was wonderful, on a half-acre of land. Oh, our dreams came true. As we were moving in that day, I thought back, “Wait, isn’t this the day? Yes, this is the day we start being happy. We finally get to have our own home—our very own home.” I was reflective, and I realized this physical presence of our house did not bring happiness. I had sought happiness in a possession that I thought would bring happiness.
As my wife walked downstairs while we were moving some furniture and some items, I said, “How do you feel?”
“Fine,” she said.
“Do you feel any different than yesterday?” I said.
“No, it’s just fun to move in.”
Yes, we had both missed the point. It’s not moving into a new home that brings us happiness. Happiness is a journey of living a life according to principles based on happiness, not on things that are possessed, not on positions, or titles, or stations. Happiness is in the living, not in the getting. Do not wait to be happy, do not put it off.
—Ed J. Pinegar
SUMMARY
For many, happiness in mortality is fleeting because the perceived source of happiness is rooted in a worldly value system. As we seek joy in mortality, we will never find it without the eternal perspective of the plan of happiness uppermost in our mind. The eternal perspective gives credence to mortality as part of an eternal landscape. Life can be wonderful as we seek eternal truths and then choose to keep the Lord’s commandments. To be humble and devout players on this grand stage of life makes of us seekers of happiness rather than simply participants in the mortal experience. “Men are, that they might have joy,” stated the prophet Lehi. That joy flows from seeking the will of the Father and following in the footsteps of the Son.